Drug-Stabbing Time

I've said to heaps of people that I don't live in the safest part of London, but it isn't the worst part either. Tonight I picked Netta up from the new St Pancras and took her to Suza's house. On the way home, discovered that I had wandered into what looked like a set from The Bill. Police tape, a huge amount of 'bobbies' and those little white tents they put up to preserve blood stains. This is what had happened, for anyone who is interested: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/12/27/nstabbing127.xml

Of course, because they'd blocked a big chunk of Upper Street off, there were no buses heading down Essex Road and no cabs in the area either. So of course I am left with no other option but to walk home through hoodie central. Which to me only increases the likelihood of someone else (ie. me) getting mugged/stabbed/accosted by drunks. Oh look, I live in Islington/Stoke Newington where there have been numerous other stabbings of late. I think I'll just take a late night stroll home.

Anyway, I'm now watching comic relief. Stabbings and Take That performing for charity. Tomorrow I am heading out to buy a Kevlar jacket.

Welcome to England Netta.

Belgian Things

Christmas in Belgium was fantastic. In the sense that any time you can go to a country where you can eat cones of frites and drink super strong beer with impunity, you are inevitably going to have a good time.

The Christmas markets were nice. The heavy food was great. The weather was crisp and sunny. And at 3€ for a glass of Leffe, any potential possible homesickness was washed away in an alcoholic fog. (This is a joke, mum and dad. I wasn't spending Christmas singing carols to myself in a drunken stupor. No - I was eating a chicken club sandwich and having a nice afternoon nap while reading the presents I was given by my 'orphan family').

So yes, I had a good time, not much homesickness and the enduring feeling that Christmas in Europe at least feels like Christmas and that maybe we in the southern hemisphere should just celebrate something different altogether. Something that doesn't require us to put an aging man with a white beard into board shorts on the beach in order to make it at all appropriate to our environment.

Having said all this, I have come to the conclusion that Belgium is perhaps the MOST boring country in Europe. I mean, it's pretty and people are friendly and I will grant that it was Christmas, but it just didn't feel that interesting to me. Mayeb it was my mood. Maybe it's because it wasn't the ideal time of year to do all the 'war stuff'.

But I don't think anything illustrates that innate boredom that is Belgium than the fact that one of Brussels' most popular tourist attractions is 'mini Europe'. Which cost €12 to get into. Or 4 glasses of Leffe. And there you have the Belgian view of Europe. In which 'Europe' is really only the countries in the EU. Ooooooo...political.

The Netherlands will be 'New in 2008.

The awesome work of 20th Century engineering, the Channel Tunnel, is represented by a piece of PVC pipe and some pond water. With a small mechanical train for good measure.

The Ireland display came complete with barnyard noises.

Slovenia didn't even crack a monument. Just a patch of grass. Same for Estonia and some of the other 'lesser' EU Nations.

Belgium seemed to have twice as many objects of interest as France, and I am telling you, it just isn't so.

The collapse of the Berlin wall was shown with a Tonka truck pulling down a small piece of plastic with some truly bizarre sound effects.

The most amazing thing about this was that some of these displays cost €350 000 to make. Those must have been some expensive Tonka toys.

So that was Belgium. And Christmas. Thanks to Wayne, Katie and Deaks for sharing my Christmas with me and preventing me from just sitting around, eating chocolate and watching TV. Oh, wait....

I will post pictures of mini Europe when I feel like I can loko at them without cracking up.

Red Red Wine/I Want To Ride My Bicycle/It Is A Truth Universally Acknowledged

I haven't blogged for a while. I don't know why. I have been busy, but no busier than usual. I have felt guilty about it, not fo your sake (I note hte overwhelming concern about my safety given that everyone is trying to blow everything up), but for mine, because the leather bound journal idea has long sense ceased to be a reality so whatever I am writing here is likely to be the only permanent record of anything I have done. Jon suggested that one day I may look back at the time I have taken writing in a journal, or blogging, and think 'I wish I had spent my time doing other things'. I would tend to disagree.

One day I am going to forget everything (I can't veen remember where I was on Tuesday, although given how hungover I've been all this week I must have been drinking. No - that's right, I went to London Bridge for a drink with Marianne. See, I figured it out, but that won't always be possible)

It is a Friday night. I am sitting in my flat, alone, with a bottle of wine, Sam Cooke, and candle light. Cliche, much? Nice to do nothing.

BATH
A couple of weeks ago (30th of June) Marianne and I headed to Bath.
We got there and headed straight to Bristol so that Kat could look for a wedding dress. Her and Adam are newly engaged. None of you know these people. I didn't until a couple of weeks ago. I am trying to paint a picture.

Didn't get to see much of Bath because of the rain. I ducked into the Jane Austen museum briefly. Sorry Steph. Disappointing. The best bit was buying 'Persuasion' and reading it on the train home, where I had to stand for two hours because because hte train was over booked and we didn't get seats. Post Jane Austen Museum we went and looked at the die hards playing Boules in teh rain. They take their local tournament very seriously. It made me want to live in an English Village.

We were basically in Bath for the Taste food Festival. This being England, and it being summer, the outdoor food festival was a washout. An outdoor food festival in the pouring rain. The free ponchos they handed out in the door did little to warm us up. The tent giving out free whiskey did. As did the beer and wine tasting courses. Ah, the simple things.



Post drenching at the food festival we went out to a pub/club in bath where I ened up talking ot the DJ for about 3 hours about Motown. He even let me handle his vinyl. No, that is not a double entendre. All I am saying is that over here, the records Rob would charge me $15 for are about 50p. I think I may have to ship things home. Fun night all around.
Adam (I was staying with friends of Marianne's called Kat and Adam) woke me up the next morning for a game of Blackgammon, which he had taught me to play the day before. My response would have been 'I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass' except for the fact that I am still not Yo La Tengo and my head was ripping open. Well, I did beat him. But I am not sure it counts if he is actually helping you because your head feels like it is going to explode. Having said that - I'm throwing the gauntlet down to anyone who wants to take me on.

Went to the cutest pub for lunch in a neighbouring village. It was about 400 years old and the floor actually sloped. Had a Sunday roast. Delightful. And then back to London.

TOUR DE FRANCE
London is a big city. The Tour de France was a big event. I don't know many people ion London. Hence it came as somewhat of a surprise to run straight into Dave, who I went to Siberia with, while walking through Green Park. Sat with Wayne and his parents, Katie, Deaks and Dave to watch the big screen, absorb the atmosphere and eat ice cream.

Watched a couple of cyclists live, but they went past pretty quickly and the crowds at the barrier were huge. I have some video which I will post when I figure out how.





The Above video kind've goes like this: road, road, road, road, vague applause, bikebikebike, louder applause, car, car, road, Kate fumbling with the camera. I don't know why SBS hasn't hired me as their girl on the ground.

Post Tour - went home, got changed, met up with Wayne and crew in Brick Lane for some Indian food where hte service was appalling, even by London standards. My favourite part was where they tried to give us dirty plates because they'd picked up the wrong pile. Deligthful. But it was a pretty fun night. The cool bit about Brick Lane is that in order to walk there you have to walk past the scene of some of Jack the Ripper's crimes, and the pub where 'Lock Stock' was shot. Just so you know.


DANIEL JOHNSTON (12th July)
Went and saw Ganiel Johnston play at Union Chapel in Islington last night. It was amazing. It is a real, live church.



And he was amazing. He was childlike and breakable. All I wanted to do was give him a big hug. He covered the Beatles (Hide Your Love Away) and he said he was going to make a joke, but last time he told it he got in trouble with his brother, mother and father and that since he only had two jokes, we'd have to wait. He was cute and mischeivious in his black and blue tracksuit. He was also remarkably confident and engaging.

His arms shook quite badly, and he was constanyl leaning on the mic - but it still blew your mind. After playing the first couple of songs on guitar/piano by himself, the muscial accompaniment was lef tto others. Much more muscial that way. And Daniel (weird familiarity) was able to concentrate of singing. He did a few songs with Neva Dinova which was awesome. I have quite a lot of video of this and if I figure out how to upload it, you can all enjoy my attempts to film and clap at the same time.



My favourite part of the evening? When he did his last song and he called it 'a wish for all of us' and then sung 'True Love Will Find You In The End'. It was pretty darned amazing. Even an old cynic like me was overwhlemed. Unsurprisingly, he got a standing ovation. He is such a dude. He looked so happy with himself through out the whole gig. He also said it was one of the best gigs they'd done this tour.

Incidentally, Marianne was meant to accompany me to this but she got stuck at work drinks (and by stuck, I mean drunk) and didn't make it. She should have scalped her 20 pound ticket for 50 quid, which is what the people on the sidewalk were willing to pay. Would have been worth every pent.

Anyway, this weekend I am resolved to do touristy things.

PS. Post writing all of htis, I have uploaded some stuff to YouTube so the I've added some video. I will upload DJ tomorrow as it is now 1.30am and I am tired beyond belief.

Peace Train

Firstly - I am alive. Not that I wouldn't be, but I just want you to know that I definitely am.

For any of you who haven't been watching the news, there has been another terrorist 'incident' in London. Viable bombs were found in the West End and on Park Lane. Fortunately the police diffused the bombs and the only effect were some massive delays on the tube and station closures.

I can't say that I was scared, but it was an odd feeling getting on the tube this afternoon. The strange realisation that you were just there on a train and exceedingly vulnerable. It was all just so totally beyond my control. Yet apprehension quickly turned to aggravation and annoyance when I realised that I was going to have to wait 15 minutes for a train from Canary Wharf. And then because my Circle Line train was delayed.

But I can see that these 'bombs' fulfill their purpose. They undermine what you take for granted. They make you feel vulnerable where you live. For a moment. And then life goes on.

Went to the V&A Museum for the Late Night session - it was the opening of London Sing and was fabulous. There was a massive acapella choir who sung songs like 'Cry Me a River' (the JT version) and Music (Madonna). I went to musci workshops with an Indian singer and a Chinese opera singer. I sang into a tube and poured my voice out. it was so much fun - even though I can't sing to save my life. In choir in high school I used to have to sit next to louise Mcleod so I would have any chance of staying in tune. I also had to be a soprano, even though I'm really not, because they get the tune. Anything else was beyond me.

I think, however, my favourite part of the evening was when the giant, colourfully dressed choir stood in the foyer of the V&A and sung 'Let It Be'. Within moments there was a swell of voices echoing around the cavernous entry hall. Amazing.

I wish I was a Beatle. I wish I could have that kind of immortality. I wish wish that it went without saying that half a world could relate to something that I wrote on a whim.

It is 11 degrees in London and fairly disgusting. The country is literally flooding.

Also - Pete Doherty's name is not pronounced how I thought it was. He's also completely humourless. Don't take drugs kids. It makes you a boring asshole.

That's it.

As for the Drowsy Chaperone, I will save that for another day.

Peas in a Pod

What do David Ritter and Tony Blair have in common?
Apart from their Labor Party membership cards, obviously.

Both made the Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss/Other joke. David in Legal History and Tony (he's not PM anymore so it is okay to use his first name, I am sure) in the House of Commons today during his last PMQ. The House thought it was hilarious and no one tried to make him feel guilty for saying it.

But, perhaps it would have been churlish given that he is now officially unemployed.

This post will only make sense to about 2 people, so I a will post tomorrow about seeing 'The Drowsy Chaperone'. Keep you on the edge of your seats and all that.

Brush Up Your Shakespeare

Went to my school reunion for old girls in London on Tuesday night. An interesting experience which culminated in my drinking beers with Jenny Ethell (aka. the woman who 'restructured me out of existence' aka fired me) and Dot in an English pub. It was nice to catch up with Dot - she seems happy in the UK (while missing the Australian weather, but then, don't we all?)

The reunion was okay, the venue was really cute and, perhaps most importantly, I think I have acquired some useful coping skills for my 10 year reunion. It involves drinking more, stalking the food platters and hiding from Alethea, which is pretty much what I did this time around as well.

Friday night I went and saw 'Othello' at the Globe. We had 5 quid standing tickets and, of course, it rained. However, Marianne and I had got there early and were right in front of the stage which meant that we we slightly sheltered from the elements. Thankfully. However, the unfortunte by product of being so close to the action was that every time the actors came near me I thought I was going to get whacked in the head with the swords that were very loosely attached to their waists. I was ducking and weaving all night.

The play itself was awesome, and the role of Iago was played by Tim McInnery (of Blackadder fame - Percy, Capt Darling etc). It was weird to see him play the evil bad guy.

Now, I am not sure how many of you are familar with the ending of Othello, but in summary: Othello kills his wife who he believes to have been unfaithul, Iago murders his wife for dobbing him in about manipulating Othello's jealousy, and Othello kills himself out of guilt ('One that loved not wisely, but too well'). So - there are 3 characters lying dead on a bed in the middle of the stage (which I always thought was farcical, but now realise is for staging reasons).

So - after this very melodramatic final scene ('This heavy act with heavy heart relate') everyone is kind've drepressed. The acting was amazing, you really felt for Othello, the fake stage blood looked almost real. THEN the cast came back on stage and started DANCING!! Not in a sad mournful way, but in a very upbeat and perky way that was emotionally confusing.

Yesterday, I caught up with Amy Thornicroft, who we met when she was a Gap girl. We hung out at a cool Morroccan restuarant for a while and then spent some time on the South Bank. It was fanatastic to see her again and any time spent on the South Bank is time well spent if you ask me. Also - seeing a man with trained budgies who sang a song that went 'I'm the budgie man, bu-budgie man, budgie man, the bloody budgie man' and then tried to get employed as an entertainer at children's parties, was definitely a high point.

Saturday night we went to a restuarant near Tottenham Court Road where they kindly served us cocktails in jugs. THEN I went and picked up Carly at Paddington. This because my new rule states - if you can't make new English friends - import the old Australian ones! Incidentally - it seemed unfair that she looked quite as together as she did given the length of her flight and the fact she was suffering from the flu. I made her get on a night bus to get home (too much of apain to catch a cab on a Saturday night) and left her to sleep until 3pm this afternoon. I then dragged her around today to make sure she was properly equipped for London (Oyster card, A-Z, phone, flu medication) and as I write this she has fallen asleep again.

Such is the life of a new arrival in London.

A record store, a humble hole in the wall, could you ever want for more?

Man, if possible, I had forgotten how much I loved record/CD stores. I haven't been inside a proper one since I left home and today I finally had time to go and check out the Rough Trade store near Portabello Road. STACKS of vinyl. Hundreds of 7" records, not too many CDs. And the constant vibe of being judged by everyone else in there - sale staff, customers, the guy who drops off the free papers.

I love the posters that have been up so long that they are beginning to peel off the walls, but somehow this makes the whole thing look more 'authentic'. Rough Trade is similar in vibe to downstairs Dada's - although not downstairs and possibly even more crowded. The staff have to bend underneath the sales bench to get out and look for anything. I managed to pull several CD's to the floor while trying to rescue the one I had dislodged. Eck.

And another thing - 7" cost about 2-2.50 pound. So damned cheap! Even with conversion that is about half the price that I pay at home. I barely managed to restrain myself. I settled for The Shins 'Australia' and Stars 'Your Ex-Lover Is Dead'. Because I had just bought new cons I couldn't quite justify the 5 pound for a Daniel Johnson single (and I thought I would try and pick up something of his when I see him later this month). I swear to God, the stuff in this store seems so extensive compared to Dada's (in 7" any way) that I was about to start selling body parts to indulge. It has also inspired me to go and seek other record stores. I'll let you knwo how that goes.

Went to 'Fifteen' for Alana's birthday lunch yesterday, which was just lovely. Really excellent food (as it was alst time) but at 50 pound a head, you wouldn't want to do this too often.

So I also bought new Cons. This is a picture of them:



It's nice to be back in cons again. I had been missing them since I left home. I wasn't quite sure what other shoes I should be wearing with jeans. And these shoes are pretty much my perfect fashion accessory. Especially given the fact that, despite being made in China (probably by child labour) they have Bono's endorsement because money goes to preventing malaria/typhoid/AIDS in Africa. See - Bono really cares about the African community.

Those little Chinese children can go f**k themselves.

I think I may still be on the wrong side of the ethical line with this purchase. I hate it when that happens. However, I still am still going to rant about the ethical incongruity here. Hypocrite, much? Shouldn't Bono and his ilk only be endorsing products that don't have a history of violating fair labour practices? Nike has long been accused of employing sweatshop labour so I don't know how they can justify partnering with them to produce thsi 'charitable' product.

Yet, again, I stil bought the damned shoes.

Moving on before I start getting really self-loathing for my ethical inconsistency (Bono and I could have a club).

For those of you who love High Fidelity and are in the need of a bit of a giggle, check this out. This is a link to one of the key songs in the new stage muscial version. The song is called 'The Last Real Record Store'. It all sounds so familiar, but is still so wrong.

http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/highfidelity/thelastrealrecordstore.htm

I don't think that Rob, Dick or Barry would have been huge fans of musical theatre.
And after seeing some of these lyrics and imagining the accompanying dance spectacular, I am not so sure I am either.

The Beauty of Days Gone By

Summer is here and the weekend was beautiful!
Absolutely stunning. It was ALMOST 25 degrees and I was boiling hot. As I said to Jano, my already out of whack internal thermometer has gone completely off the rails.

Friday night I went to the Tate Modern with Marianne. She gets a lot of free tickets to things through her job, so we like to exploit that as much as possible. There is a Dali exhibiton on show at the moment which was amazing. His work has so much more depth when you look at it in real life. Despite most of his paintings being smaller than the ginormous prints that people stick on their college walls, blowing up the paintings somehow makes them LOSE detail, as well as any sense of intimacy that is evoked.

One of my favourites was called Solitude:



It was immensely sad but so minutely detailed as well.

We then went and saw Spellbound, the Hitchcock film being played at the Tate. Dali conceptualised the 3 minute dream sequence which was completely surreal (because he's a surrelaist - get it? PUN!).

It was a really lovely way to spend a Friday evening. As we walked along the SOuthbank to catch a train home, we were 'followed' by a barge on the river that was illuminated and had a massive choir on board singing to celebrate the new renovations of the Royal Festival Hall. It was a perfect London evening.

Saturday Marianne and I decided that we would brave the terrible American crowds at Stratford-Upon-Avon, about 2 hours from London. This should not be confused with Stratford without the Avon because this is a borough stuck on the end of the Northern Lin or DLR and should not be visited by anyone unless they want to part with their earthly possession.

Stratford-Upon-Avon was lovely, the Tudor houses were very cute and made me feel very tall. As you went to each site, the connection to Shakespeare became more and more tenuous and you had to just decide that you would just appreciate the 'vibe'. Couldn't find any really tacky souvenirs, because I didn't get a chance to go into the 'Shakesperience' building. No bobble headed Shakespeares to be had, I left souvenirless.

We also had to walk around in circles for a while because I am incapable of reading street signs. Thankfully, Marianne forgave me and eventually we go to Shakespeare's grave:



I'm not really sure it was worth it. The old graves outside with all the moss etc. on them were way cooler, in my humble opinion. And it cost 50p to get into the little bit where the grave actually was.

Sunday was spent eating cupcakes at Hummingbird Cafe and watching Ocean's 13. Tonight I am going to Wayne's house for dinner. He claims to be able to cook anything. We'll see.

And Rom - don't give up on your poor little car! Check to see if it can be redeemed before doing anything silly!

This is the sound of settling

People claim that they are reading my blog. Never are these claims proved true in the comments section, because everyone claims to be too scared/embarassed/whatever to actually get in there and show me the love. So for a couple of weeks there I got disheartened.

But I am back. With more observations on the workplace and London in general.

Firstly, I would like to discuss chivalry. I am known as a feminist, but no woman is going to say no if a man lets her out of the lift first, or holds a door open for her. Men over here are quite chivalrous, especially in the business district where I work. BUT come home time, when we are all piling on the tube, any semblence of civility is disgarded. Everyone for themself. Man, woman, small child with terminal cancer, all will be crushed under foot in the quest for a seat, or positioning that will later allow you to get a seat. I have learnt to use my free paper to block other's ability to sit in what I would claim as 'my' seat. I even have strategies about where to stand in order to later claim a seat and an ever changing internal discussion about whether it is better to take a leaning position on a 'wall' seat and give up on teh chance of a real seat, or to angle for the chance.

I will lean if I can get the leaning position at the beginning of my trip or at the very end. Anything in the middle - it's all about elbowing my way into the infrequently vacated chairs (everyone gets off at the same stop on the Jubilee line in the morning. It doesn't really go anywhere else but here).

Also - I would now like to mention what I (not very kindly) refer to as Banker Sluts. Friday night is as popular for drinks here as it is at home. I work in Canary Wharf - no one really lives here, it is just full of law firms, banks, finance companies etc. You get the idea. Men and women in suits. So for Friday night drinks 'casual' really refers to the fact that people may have taken their jacket and tie off. Anyway, about 7:30pm women with fake tan, chronically straightened hair, tattoos and tops that show most of their bras (back and front) arrive at the bar. They look out of place and completely different from the other women there who are well groomed, but in work outfits.

Their aim is obvious - pick up a banker/lawyer/man in suit. It is so transparent. I was even moved to say so, saying that they were so obvious no man would fall for it.

I gave men too much credit. Within minutes they were surrounded. I've never seen anything like it. Please don't bother trying to yell at me about judging other women and their choices (I can see mum preparing the takl already). The whole thing made me feel so ill I could barely breathe. Sorry.

It's meant to be summer and today I was wearing a scarf and heavy jacket.

UK Big Brother has started and the house is full of girls (and one boy) who want to marry footballers. Not the boy, obviously. There is even a Posh Spice look alike. You know, because we don't actually hae to endure Posh Spice EVERY DAY without having look alikes.

Went to the Globe last night and saw The Merchant of Venice. It was tops. The acting was pretty amazing, and for only £5. Admittedly, we chose to stand, but it was fine. Except for the fact that we were so close to the actors you got spit on. Or, in the case of one unlucky girl, vomitted on. So yes, it was a supremely cultural experience.

Last weekend I went to the Portabello Road Markets (fairly regular occurence - it's so close) but went into some vintage stores I had never been into before. The prices almost killed me. I don't care how old a dress is, it is SECOND HAND and therefore shouldn't cost £500. I kid you not. Kate Moss shops there apparently. And Posh Spice. Eck. Was meant to go bowling that night, but even at 12pm the line was around the block. So Marianne and I went home. And I had another in a long line of public transport 'quirks'.

Should also mention that I saw Spamalot last week and it was hilarious (despite the fact that I was in the nosebleed section with the little binoculars that you hire for 50p). The Lady of the Lake had an amazing voice. Such a diva. Although hearing 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' out of context was a little bit of a shock to the system.

So, basically what I am trying to say is that I live here now. I have settled in to the London life and I socialise and go out and work and abuse the tube system and moan about the weather the same as anybody else. Even when I am still at work at 7pm or I arrive early to make my group smoothies (don't ask, it makes no sense to me either). I am organising a sailing trip to Croatia and I am desperately trying to stretch my money as far as it will go. It may not sound exciting, but I love it.

Although I am yet to find as many funny, interesting, intelligent, argumentative people in London as I ever found at home. This disappoints me considerably.

Heart Cooks Brain

See, the thing about going to see Modest Mouse was that I only purchased my ticket 24 hours in advance. I ended up in a seat that was in line with the stage on a swivel chair about 20 meters from Johnny Marr. Oh yes, this was the luck of the disorganized. Marianne (De Leo) convinced me that I should go and I felt a bit guilty when I ended up having better seats than her and Lods.

Royal Albert Hall is pretty amazing. There are flying saucer shaped disks suspended from the roof for acoustics, but the place is huge and ornate.

To be honest, my only though once I was seated was – why do bands even bother going to Perth? You sell out a venue like RAH and I hate to think how much money you would make. It is ridiculous. And it isn’t like London is that far from anything else. A European tour would make so much more money than anything you could do in Australia. I have decided that bands that both to make the trip to the southern hemisphere must really love their fans.

But, that wasn’t the case for me. So I sat and watched Billy childish support (funny, weird, dressed like they escaped the First World War) and then the blistering Modest Mouse set. Acoustically, things were a bit off and I swear to God I couldn’t make out a single lyric the entire night. Or anything that they said when Isaac Brock or Johnny Marr decided on a bit of crowd interaction. As silly as it sounds, it didn’t really matter that much. The level of intensity was high and

Highlights included Float On (of course). Are You Dead Or Are You Sleeping?, Missed the Boat and Dashboard. I was also very enthused about seeing 2 drummers drum perfectly in sync. Nutty.

It was strange looking down on the crowd and seeing those with standing tickets jump up and down, smoke cigarettes seeing only the glowing orange ends and realizing that indie kids in Perth have WAY better dress sense. I’m not joking. The cool kids in Perth seem cooler than the cool kids in London. Or maybe the cool kids in London don’t go to Modest Mouse concerts. If that’s the case, they can’t be that cool.

Anyway, one of things I liked most about the evening was at the end when a couple of kids who were crowd surfing got dumped over the barrier. The bouncers got a bit rough with them and Isaac (while continuing to sing and play) yelled at and grabbed the bouncers to stop them from beating up the kids who clearly just wanted to be nearer the band. He had another go at the bouncers at the end of the concert as well. Very cool given the bouncers were just being unnecessarily rough and ridiculous. I hate it when bouncers turn nasty for no other reason than the fact that they can generally get away with manhandling whoever they want without any repercussions.

As the title would suggest, this was a pretty damned cool experience even though it wasn't perfect. Despite the sound issues being at RAH and seeing Johnny Marr from THE SMITHS and listening to a kick arse band rock out was pretty much as cool as it sounds.

And apparently, according tothe late night news, this is the week that celebrates the 30th Anniversary of the Sex Pistols singing 'God Save The Queen'.

Excellent.

If I'm not back in 5 minutes...wait longer!

I started work today and there was an unexpected surprise waiting for me when I got there. On my desk there was what looked like a first aid kit, and I joked that I hoped this wasn't meant to indicate that I was a First Aid Officer.

I'm not. We all have them. They are Survival Packs. That is, if someone bombs our building, I am meant to pick up this survival pack and run down the stairs with it. Well, not run, the survival guidelines follows Hitchhikers' Rules (Don't Panic!) and tell me to walk in a quick, yet orderly, fashion. I suppose that if you are going to work for a large, American company it shouldn't come as a surprise that they feel they could be targets of a terrorist threat. Especially when the word ' America' features prominently in the company name.

However, on closer inspection it becomes obvious that my pack isn't so much suited to surviving a major disaster as launching a very tops Saturday night out.

Your Average BoA Survival Pack™ includes:

FM Auto Scan Radio – to hear all those pop hits while trapped under debris.
A glow stick – in case the radio lays down some wicked dance beats.
A Beam Ring – to create that party vibe with lasers.
Goggles – a necessity for any well dressed disaster survivor/raver
Drinking Water – everyone knows that you need to rehydrate when you're clubbing under the rubble.
Boiled lollies – I think my pack may be missing this. And no, I didn't already eat them.

So there you go. You may be fatally wounded and trapped beneath what used to be your desk, but you can still have a jolly good time. This is the kind of positivity I like in an employer.

You take a trip to the city lights, and take the long way home

I had the longest, most hilarious trip back from Cambridge last night.
I missed the train from Cambridge, ended up at the wrong station, waited 25 minutes for the last Circle Line train, only to have it stop at Edgware Road, 3 stops shy of home.

THEN I got on a night bus the wrong way because I was chatting to an Australian girl I met and was distracted. Ended up at Mornington Crescent Station, where Ally (Australian Girl) and I met Jacko, the thong wearing, AFL playing, phys ed teacher from Victoria who very kindly asked us if we would like to go back to his house for a drink.

It was 2am. We politely declined.

Waited 35 minutes for teh next bus, only to have it be the same bus we got off but just heading back to where we came from.

Found a man on the bus who complimented us on our Australian accents and claimed to be a market trader. He had a Tweety Bird tattoo.

In other news - Mark's birthday party in Cambridge was great. A BBQ in a backyard in England? Who would have thought. Great night, I even met some actual English people! Cambridge was pretty and full of posh kids who looked stereotypically Oxbridge. It's a pretty town, lots of lawn and I briefly watched a game of cricket. And some punting, which seems to provide weekend employment for all Cambridge students who are willing to wear boat shoes and rugby jumpers.

That is all.

I'll read anything with a Daria picture in the header

I enjoyed this.
http://tinymixtapes.com/Search-for-Acceptance

The Internet is for Porn

Wow - getting a job has made me completely motivated to get out there and do tourist stuff on weekdays before it's too late and I have to join the American tourists on weekends. So - here is some of the cooler and more noteworthy stuff I have done this week.

Cheap Cocktails in Campden
This was a lot of fun - we didn't get royally sloshed or anything, but the cocktails were 2 for 1 and they were made properly by men who could put Tom Cruise in Cocktail to shame. They bounced glasses and bottles and threw things around. Then we shared an Oreo cookie cocktail and went for Thai food.

Equus
I went and saw Equus on Wednesday. It was fairly brilliant. For those of you who haevn't heard anything about it, it is the West End show with Daniel Radcliffe in it And Richard Griffiths for that matter. It was fairly intense - largely about psychiatry, adolescent disenfranchisement, sex, worship and passion. Sample quote:

Passion, you see, can be destroyed by a doctor. It cannot be created.

and again:

All right! The normal is the good smile in a child's eyes. There's also the dead stare in a million adults. It both sustains and kills, like a God. It is the ordinary made beautiful, it is also the average made lethal. Normal is the indispensable murderous God of health and I am his priest.

It was intense from beginning to end and Daniel Radcliffe did an amazing job - especially given he really is only 17 and the role was very demanding. And yes, he does get naked for quite a long time, but it isn't so much 'My God! Harry Potter is naked' but more 'That poor boy. His life is so monumentally fucked'.

The horse costumes were amazing as well. Giant metal contraptions that slipped over actors heads. They wandered around upright on 'horseshoes' that were metal platforms about 15cm high. Utterly stunning. Even the poster blew my mind, though perhaps it only gains its impact from seeing the play.




National Portrait Gallery
There are only so many paintings of pictures of people in neck ruffs any girl can handle. Fortunately, the Tudor monarchs (and friends) were balanced nicely by the Face of Fashion exhibition where there were a lot of naked photos of Kate Moss. I don't know if that's better, but at least there were no ruffs that were eerily reminiscent of year 12 production at Perth College.

My favourite picture from the Fashion exhibition was surprising, given that it was of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, neither of whom I particularly love. Yet the bored suburbia that the picture evoked, as well as the colours, was amazing when it was blown up and took up nearly a whole wall.



The exhibition of Tony Blair at war (black and white photography) was also really powerful and intimate. He is a photogenic man and, more than anything, the exhibition really showed a thoughtful Prime Minister who believed in what he was doing. It was also strange seeing photos of him battling his parliamentary collegues over supporting the US at war. Given that this was a war I don't particulalry support, I was surprised at the degree of empathy I felt, looking at these photos, for a man who was forced to make a difficult decision. (Don't bother posting political argument Jon - I am talking about the ART. The argument as to whether that can ever be divorced from context can be discussed another time. Yet, now I remember that you're working at the Defence Department I realise you probably relate quite well to Mr Blair's predicament).

Anyway, the gallery is amazing. If you like looking at pictures of people. The way some artists capture the essence of their subject is eerie. It's not all lighting and props, it is just the skill of showing what someone is really like on film or in ink/paint.

Avenue Q
This is not traditional West End theatre. There are puppets. There is puppet sex (not quite as graphic as Team America but I was in row C - very close to the puppet sex, so it was much more disturbing). It was absolutely hilarious - as in I was laughing out loud for the whole first act and most of the second. I may see it again.

Song titles include 'The Internet Is For Porn', 'Everyone's A Little Bit Racist Sometimes' and 'What Do You Do With A BA in English?'. Sample lyrics include:

I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!"

from the song 'I Wish I Could Go Back To College'. It was eerily accurate. Other gems include:

NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?

GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

NICKY:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!

Anyway, it was funny. I went with Wayne and Katie. We ate dinner in China Town and went for drinks afterwards.

And for all you Buffy/Angel/Little Britain fans: I bumped into Anthony Head as I was turning a corner. He'd just finished Spamalot for the night. He is very tall.

Pete Doherty's Art Exhibition at Bankrobber Gallery
I just got back from this. It is the biggest load of self-indulgent, self-obsessed nothing that I have seen to date. And I have been going to quite a few galleries. All the paintings involved him in some way and were smeared with his blood or had needles and tea spoons glued to them. They had very little artistic merit to my mind. It was an attempt to recreate the anarchist punk art of the 70's without the anger, the immediacy or the talent. Destroyed UK flags as an artistic statement surely died with the Sex Pistols, who did it better. Example:

All I am saying is that it is a good thing the boy is dating Kate Moss or he would haev drifted into drug fuelled obscurity. I say this as a big Libertines fan.


The best bit about the whole thing was the cupcake I bought at Hummingbird Bakery (best bakery in the world) on the way there.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say for now. I spent today shopping for work clothes and crying every time I had to buy something pointless and practical when I could have been buying cool, colourful things.

Back on the Chain Gang

Hello Dear Readers

I would like to announce that I am now gainfully employed. Yes. Me. The person who for the last couple of months has done nothing but look at churches, galleries etc. has a job. Actually, I was offered a couple of jobs and, not being a person who really likes decisions, this almost caused me to stop breathing. Anyway - the end result. I will be working for (drum roll please)...

Bank of America.
As a paralegal.
In their liquid products division.
Fo anyone who was there during my commerce degree, this will come as a surprise.

It paid too much for me to not take it, even though the Partner at Clifford Chance knew HEAPS about Asterix, Bob Dylan and Eminem. He was so interesting. I think I am going to like being a lawyer. But I couldn't assume that everyday would be discussing illusions to 'The Odyssey' in Asterix. Ah well.

I shall excerpt the most embarassing part of the interview now:

Him: How do you feel about country sports?
Me: You mean like hockey? I lived in the country and played sports. Is that what you mean?
Him: I meant things like pheasent shooting.
Me: And fox hunting?
Him: Yes.
Me: (realising this was not a good time to bring up 7 years of vegetarianism, an aversion to blood sports and not realy being that sporty in general) I grew up in the country. I'm used to it.

Playing the country card. Classic.

Different worlds. Country sports? Man, pheasent shooting was so beyond what would ever enter my mind.

Anyway, hopefully I will start on Monday. And the pounds will roll in and I can Live the London Life. Yay!

Except for I just figured out how much tax I will be paying. So less of the London Life than expected.

But I was never contractually obliged to sleep with foreign businessmen, alright? And that is not nothing, that is something.

I have a room in a house. And no, I am not obliged to sleep with foreign businessmen which was basically the only pre-requisite I ended up having in the London housing market.

My room is small, but it is mine. It looks like this:

If you tilt your head you will notice the big window in my room and if you put your head really close to the screen you will see the charming white doona with flowers embroidered in it.

This is the lounge room:



And this is the kitchen:

The house is on quiet street, but is 100 meters from Kensington High Street. It's kind've like living in Highgate but bigger. 5 minute walk from 2 cinemas (one arthouse, one mainstream), grocery stores, tube station, vintage clothes stores and Portobello Rd Markets and 10 minutes walk to Hyde Park. Great location.

Living with a girl called Rebecca who is just lovely and is a New York native. She has the Black Books boxset, Bill Bailey on DVD and a copy of Withnail & I. As well as The Merchant of Venice (Al Pacino verion). So, a woman of excellent taste.

Not much else to report. Except that this morning I went to Primark and stood in a queue for a change room for 30 minutes. for 28 pounds I bought 6 pairs of socks, two pairs of tights, a jumper, a dress top, a work top and a skirt. Loving Primark. It is the only way I am going to be able to afford to clothe myself in London.

Also - if anyone can tell me how to rotate these photos - please comment and let me know. It's as annoying to me as it is for everybody else, I assure you! Also Rom - please note that I am blogging on a Tuesday for your distraction.

xxx

A coward you are, Withnail. An expert on bulls you are not.

Trying to think what I had done when I last posted. I suppose now would be as good a time as any to summarise the rest of my trip to Barcelona. Wet. Except the one beautiful day that allowed me to go to a flea market, Park Guell and go for a trip on a boat.

Boat ride was lovely. Had a jazz saxophonist playing and glasses of Sangria for only 1 Euro. Not so bad.

Park Guell was unexpected - not much green grass for a park, but architecturally it was amazing. In my next life I want gaudi to design my house.

Flea market was annoying. Way too much crap to be enthusiastic about sorting through.

Anyway, my last day in Barcelona was a public holiday so nothing was open and it was raining so I ended up going to watch 2 American movies with the Canadian girls. Then that nightwe went out and I got very drunk along the port and struggled to get out of bed the next day to check out and get on the plane. I say again - those free shots are killer.

Back in the UK and started doing more job interviews. One of them asked me if I knew how to use a Macintosh and I have started to miss my laptop in a really nerdy way.

Last night I went to a party at my new flat (where I was meant to move in today but this has been postponed until tomorrow). It was a really lovely night and I met some really cool people. All of whom seem far more educated than I am.

Today I have cleaned Ben and Wayne's flat (they are both away) and packed all my stuff. Hopefully I will be out of here by early tomorrow morning.

Oh - and this photo is for Rom. It's from the market in Barcelona:

Almost forgot - yesterday I went to Windsor Castle and did the touristy thing in England, which I haven't done that much of so far. It was cold and grey and miserable and the castle was full of glorious art, armour and history. I had a really lovely day out there with Katie and Anthony and it included a traditional English pub lunch, including, for me, a glass of Pimms.

Gotta love those castles. Pronounced cassles for all of those born and raised in England.

xxx

You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona.

Hello All,

Greetings from not so sunny Barcelona. Thanks to my travel agent who suggested that I bring bathers. They would be so useful at the moment, given they are the only thing that I wuld have that was appropriate to get wet.

Anyway, enought about the all too expected European weather.

So far I have seen the following museums:
1. The Picasso Museum - cool and very well set out to show his development as an artist.
2. Gaudi Museum - he made quite awesome houses and I can´t believe that anyone let him build what he wanted to build 100 years ago.
3. The Monserrat Museum
4. The Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art

The MACBA was AMAZING. There was a sound installation called The Killing Machine by 2 American artists. The Killing Machine itself was based on a Kafka story about capital punishment and it was really intense. The other displays were also really interesting. Essentially, through sound, they displaced the emotion that was evoked by the vidual images that were built or projected. It was really clever and well constructed. What was also cool was, because the gallery was close to a uni, the students used the steps as a communal meeting place. It was pretty cool to see them all congregate there. I don´t know if I would trade it for the Oak Lawn, but imagine learning among all that culture!

Yesterday I made a rookie mistake. I went on a bus trip to see some caves and Monserrat, a cathedral in the mountains about an hour from Barcelona. Imagine my surprise when we didn´t get to see any caves because ´caves´ in Spanish is actually the equivalent of sparkling wine and I ended up on a tour of a wine cellar with a tour guide conducting proceedings in Spanish because our tour person assumed I spoke Spanish and went to the international language school. Anyway, you got to see huge amounts of caves (see, it looks like you´re going to a cave, but you aren´t) and got a free glass at the end. It was 11am and we were on out way to a monestary. Yay Spain!

Monserrat was beautiful and would have been more so if it wasn´t raining and I could actually have got down to the Sacred Cave. Ah well. The view was stunning, if a little cloudy, and the church was divine. I dutifully joined the queue for the black Madonna and then wandered around the free parts of the museum before climbing come of the hill. Then it started raining again and we went home.

Last night I went bar hopping with some Canadian girls I met in my room. It helps getting free drinks if you are a group of girls, led by a California blonde, in a male dominated area. I have never got so many free shots in my life. Unfortunately, I couldn´t tell if I was being mugged or groped half the evening which was a bit disconcerting. Given I arrived home with all my stuff, I am going to assume the latter which is just plain gross.

I am meeting a lot of people - not lonely at all! Had dinner with an English boy the other night and always seem to be able to find people to chat to. Yay!

Anyway, I still have a lot to see and waiting for a fine day no longer apepars to be an option. I´m going to brave the rain!

Abbey Road

After living within 10 minutes walk of Abbey Road for the last 3 weeks, I finally made it there a few days ago. It was a bit strange. Once I was there, I was kind've unsure what to do. There were cars on the road so walking on the cross walk was out of the question. The studios were emptying because it was 1pm and it appears that musicians also like to eat lunch on schedule.

It was cool, but underwhelming. I think I took pictures of the wrong crosswalk. I think the best bit of the entire thing was the wall that people put their Beatles comments on. Apparently it gets painted over every week. I couldn't write a comment because all I had was a ball point pen and that was never going to work.

I wandered around for a little bit and tried to pick the angle of the photo by comparing the landscape to the album cover on my iPod. A lot of things have changed since the Beatles were there. Then I walked home. I think that sometimes it's better to just imagine things in your mind. It just seemed so suburban and middle class. Weird.

Also, I can't rotate photos because I am hopeless. There are better photos on flickr.

West End Girl

Alright. I haven't beaten Steph's record of 5 West End shows in 2 weeks. Instead, I have done 4 shows in 4 days. I reckon for sheer committment to the cause I am winning!

So - I saw 'Wicked' on Monday night and it was AWESOME!!! People, it was excellent. The scenery, the songs, the costumes, the set, Adam Garcia in white pants (West Wing fans - Kristen Chenoweth originated the good witch role on Broadway). It was fabulous. In a really girly way. It probably was for girls, but then I am a girl so I don't need to justify my enjoyment of it. It was so pretty! It was also nice to see a musical where I didn't know all the songs and wasn't tempted to burst out into a duet with the leading actress.

Tuesday I saw '39 Steps' which was a 1935 Hitchock film. It doesn't miss any of the film's scenes. It has 139 characters in it. The play had a cast of 4. One guy was the same character the whole way through. The girl played only 3 characters. The other two guys were very busy. And hilarious. It was a really funny play. It was made more amusing by the fact that it was a matinee and we were surrounded by children and grandparents. It only cost 12 pounds. Loving the student discount. We also went to an American theme pub for lunch (Cheers anyone?) which was funny in and of itself.

Wednesday I went and saw 'Little Shop of Horrors' which was FANTASTIC and one of the girls in the 'Greek Chorus' looked EXACTLY like Suza. They even had the same mannerisms which freaked me out slightly. It was really funny though - and the songs do what musical songs do - make you want to sing along and stay with you afterwards. The puppet plant was pretty intense as well. It was also made more amusing by the fact that I went to it with Fleur and Wayne. Fleur is a dentist. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the plot of 'Little Shop' but while the concept of sadistic dentists is funny, watching a dentist watch a sadistic dentist is even funnier!

Billy Elliott today. The little kid was amazing. As was the giant puppet of Margaret Thatcher. Didn't like the songs much (apologies to Elton John who wrote the score). I didn't like it as much as the movie and the theatre seats were built for people under 5 foot tall. I don't know - people seemed to love it. maybe I am OD'ing on theatre (unlikley) or it just didn't resonate with me. Except the Maggie T puppet.

In addition, today I did the Lords tour - and you could see how much the ground sloped!! It was nuts. It's like 2m different from one end to the other. We also stood in the away team dressing room. It was teeny tiny, with no showers and only one small TV. The balcony was lovely. Apparently, if players want to have a shower they have to run the gauntlet of spectators etc. It's even worse for the English players. In general though, the ground is very sweet and quite English. Except the new media tower, which I liked but many don't. I also saw the Urn which was smaller than I thought it would be. I now know heaps about cricket and resisted the urge to buy a paperweight with part of the Lords outfield inside it.

On Tuesday night I went with Fleur, Maree, Gemme, Jaye and Fiona to Jamie Oliver's Fifteen restaurant. It was excellent food, we drank some nice wine and some good bubbly. I paid for it with my V-train rebate. All in all, a very nice, casual night with good food and good company. The cheesecake was divine. So was the Cod.

Tonight I went and looked at another flat. I think the search is going okay. The flat tonight was really cute. Small bedroom - but I am beginning to expect this of London.

Anyway, next week I want to see 'Sound of Music', 'Les Mis', 'Mary Poppins', 'The Lion King' and 'Spamalot'. Or maybe I will space them out a little more. I'm here for a while yet.

Wayne and Ben rock!

Step Into My Office Baby

Well, the job hunt has commenced and continues.

I have decided that I want to be a legal seretary. It's what every girl dreams of growing up. In order to be a legal secretary, I have registered with an agency. They in turn have to be able to show that I can spell and type, so on Thursday I sat through 5 hours of computer testing, spelling tests and proof reading tests. Not that I minded, as there's no other way they could tell that I was capable of spelling basic words. EXCEPT perhaps by noticing that I have TWO DEGREES and and A for English Literature in TEE (yes, they asked).

Had a very busy weekend. Drank a lot on Friday (enough to go to a cheesy 80's club where I had quite a lot of fun) and woke up hangover free on Saturday. Wayne muttered something about me being too young to understand and left to go to the Borough Markets tp find brownies. I went to Portabello Road with Katie to look at loud American Tourists and eat yummy cupcakes whie dodging traffic. Also went to the travel book shop from Notting Hill which was really cute. And unbelievably small. I don't know where they put the camera.

THEN went out to Clapham and sat on the ginormous common that they have out there. Temperature was over 20 degrees, so obviously there were a lot of half naked English people showing off their white skin. I wasn't, but it was a gorgeous day.

Saturday night we went to Peter's birthday party at a cool pub in Angel. Very cool music. Evening ended standing in the street whil Me, Raj, Ben and Felur ate kebabs and Wayne very nicely held onto the chips so we had free hands to make use of our 'wrapped' kebabs.

Had a BBQ had Wayne and Ben's house yesterday. They have access to their roof (very cool, awesome view) and I managed to burn the sausages. I don't know I could possibly have been left in charge, even for a moment.

Then last night we went for a walk along Waterloo Bridge at sunset and for a stroll down the South Bank. The weather here is great at the moment. So everything seems really happy and people are in good spririts.

Today, the job and house hunt continues...

London Still

Imperial War Museum today.
In retrospect, it was foolish to do the 'Crimes Against Humanity' exhibition and the Holocaust exhibition back to back. Emotionally draining, to say the least. I may have sobbed through some of it. Actually, the whole 5 hours I was there I felt guilty if I made any noise.

Yesterday - went to a Walkabout to watch the cricket. Didn't take me long to walk into an 'aussie' hangout. Australia's batting innings was a little boring (sorry folks) but the result was pleasing and expected. Wayne and I left straight after we won, and I think people thought we were British and sulking. Actually, we were catching a bus.

Had spent the day looking in the park and walking through town. Just lovely! I can't believe it is so warm here! When I say warm, I am still wearing thermals. The English are quite excited.

Not much else to report. Still having a good time. Catching up with V-train people tonight. Almost getting the Tube under control. You know, the usual.

Hope everyone had a good Easter with lots of chocolate. I am trying to resist all the cheap chocolate bars over here!

London Calling

I don't know when I last went a day without drinking anything. It's a blur.
Been meeting some lovely people and staying with some great guys - Ben and Wayne - who are friends of Jane's. Wayne is introducing me to lots of people and generally being a tops bloke.

In London.
Changing of the guard overrated.
Buckingham Palace entirely too brown.
Hyde Park Lovely.
Went and saw The Boat Race today. Massive crowds. I was at the starting line, so watched most of the race on the Big Screen. Cambridge won. I love rowing. As long as I never have to do it.

Peace and Love.

Rumour In st Petersburg

Russia. It's awesome. And beautiful.
St petersburg was just lovely - even their Palace Square beat Tianamen in straight up attractiveness.

Arrived in St Petersburg early Sunday morning. Another small hostel snafou, although it was dealt with. Went to the Hermitage almost immediately where students can get in for FREE. Yes, free. And you get to see the most fabulous art and the most fabulous building.

Although the coat check lady and our guide got into an argument and we had to stand in line for ages to check our coats - you have to wait for people to leave in order to use their hook. More annoying because there were HEAPS of hooks that they hadn't put numbers on. After all this, our guide just looked at me and said "In Russia, we have a saying. Never argue with Babooshkas". Sounds about right to me.

In some ways, the Hermitage was overwhelming. You walk into each room and the room itself is gorgeous and ornate. If you forget to look up you miss half of what makes it so spectacular. It's also a bit strange because every time I think that someone built the Winter Palace/Hermitage etc to live in, it makes me really angry. It's too much.

The art was amazing. Once I found a map (even though it was in Cyrillic) I managed to negotiate my way around some of the art, rather than just going in circles. I loved the Matisse, the Van Gough, the Cezanne etc. I didn't really like the exhibition on Alexander the Great and after a while I was going to pull my hair out from frustration at the paintings of rural life by Dutch painters. I got stuck going around in that circle for a while.

That night, we headed to a fairly cool restaurant, where the funniest night of my eating in a restaurant ensued. We order 2 beef stroganoffs, 2 pork things and 5 chicken things for our table. The woman comes back about 20 minutes later. They have no pork things left. So everyone who had pork changes to the alternative they offered - chicken kiev. Great. Sorted. Not so much. She comes back out. They have no beef stroganoff left. eyebrows raised. People change to chicken kiev. THEN she comes back out and says that they only have 2 serves of beef strog left and 3 chicken kievs. And nothing else. So only half of us ate. I've never been to a restaurant before where they ran out of food before. Headed to a student cafe for a very cheap meal afterwards.

Then went out to a RUSSIAN ROCKABILLY CLUB. I kid you not people, there were Russian men with mullets, surrounded my confederate flags rocking their little suede shoes off. It was hilarious and appalling. The club was called 'Money Honey' and it was here that we made strange Ukrainian friends.

Shout out to the girls I danced to 'I Will Survive' in st Petersburg. And I did the damned Macarena which the Russian women appeared to be scarily good at. Skye and I left at about 3am, after which Dave almost managed to get himself into trouble - he broke a glass and security wanted to charge him 200 roubles for it. He said no, the Ukrainians stepped in (we had previously ascertained they were fans of street fighting) and a situation was only just narrowly avoided.

Monday - checked out the Cathedral of Peter and Paul. Until they hd finished this fort, the slaves building St Petersburg were under constant threat of wolf attack, even during the day and even in groups. Saw the tomb of Peter the Great.

Church of the Spilt Blood very cool - modelled on St Basils. It was erected when, after an assassination attempt, Alexander II (I believe) was mortally wounded here - he lost his legs in an assassination attempt, but continued to make a moving speech once he was wounded. Russian history rocks. Wolves and legless speeches.

Headed to dinner at 5pm (don't ask) which was on Vodkatrain because of the Moscow accommodation debacle. Went to a cool place called Zoom where the food was delicious and our table scored a fee $40 bottle of wine because we had to wait a little longer than usual. Not that we minded. It was still early.

Walked around the city for a while looking at statues and parks - just beautiful. Then headed to a student bar where we drank Vodka Shots in celebration of our trip and made friends with Russian students. Got in a cab, went to a nightclub, stayed out til the early hours until Will and Charlie decided that the girls were so young looking it was weird.

Got a kebab on the way home.

Got up early next morning to catch a plane. Fell asleep at the airport, on the plane and dozed on the Tube to Paddington.

I am in London, people. And Flickr has photos.

Contact In Red Square

Who would win in a Tianamen Square v Red Square showdown? For those of you who have been wondering, the answer is firmly Red Square which is freakin awesome!!!

Yes people. I am in Moscow. Where is is sunny, warm and beautiful. I kid you not. I am wandering around in jeans and a hoodie. Very similar attire to our indie rock loving, lead guitarist Honcho on this leg of the tour. He's cool. He gave me a badge.

Anyway - I have many stories to regale you all with. Except Mum and Dad. Tune out now. Seriously.

STORY ONE
The train to get from Irkutsk to Moscow took 4 days. Yes people, 4 days on a train. Interesting. I am tempted to write a long and stream of conciousness piece about finding your essence when gazing into a Siberian wilderness and feeling the timelessness of the landscape and the harshness of the winter. Instead, I think I'll go straight to the Vodka.

We went to the dining carriage for dinner on night 2 of our trip after I asserted firmly and loudly that I would not be eating another pot noodle (especially since I accidentally bought Chilli noodles because I can't read Cyrillic). So Matt, Claire, Soey (not a typo) and I went to the dinign cart. Everythign was going swimmingly.

Until the two Russians at the next table bought us a bottle of vodka. The waitress arrived with it, pointed at them and they raised their vodka (shot) glasses at us in salute. 10 minutes later the whole bottle was gone. You can't refuse because it is seen as excessively impolite. I think they just wanted to see how funny it would be to get the Australians drunk. Anyway, we were all good. It was only 4 shots. Then the Russians got up to have a smoke. Just as we were about to leave, the waitress arrived at the table. The Russians had bought us another bottle of vodka. We considered escaping but instead, we stayed, did one shot and headed back to our carriage for the Quiz Adam had made.

My cabin won the quiz (of course).

BUT THEN we may have had a few more drinks. I ended up in a random cabin with 4 German boys and 2 Russians eating dried fish on a skewer. Which they added an excessive amount of salt to even though it was SALTED fish. And the German's names were things like Klaus and Wolfgang which I found to be hilarious.

That's not all. Peter (Irish lad) has a rather booming voice and was more than a little drunk. So it wasn't all that much of a surprise when the train police arrived to quieten everyone down. But more specifically, quiten Peter down. He was a hairs breadth from handcuffs and being abandoned at the nearest platform. I kid you not.

STORY TWO
This is really the story of two nights in Moscow. I have had a combined total of 6 hours sleep over the two nights. The night we got here there was a disaster with the hotel. Total disaster. They're still building the damned thing. I've got photos. People are sleeping on the floor. I am sharing a double bed with Sue.

Anyway. What does one do in these situations? Drink.

We went to this really cool bar that was underneath red square. It was a basement with graffiti scrawled everwhere and it looked a bit like a bunker. We sat there and drank vodka shots and cheap beer until 2am until we decided that the best possible thing we could do was to head to a club. We negotiated a fare with a passing cab driver (200 roubles or about 10 AUD) and spent the rest of the night listening to Michael Jackson in an almost abandoned hotel/club thing.

THEN last night, after a day of sight seeing(Kremlin = Awesome, Red Square is amazing) we went to the Bolshoi Ballet which was AMAZING. SO beautiful. It was a Soviet piece that celebrated farming and the arts etc. I really couldn't believe that I was drinking champagne (the 200 Rouble excessively sweet glass, not the 1600 rouble Moet) at the Bolshoi theatre. It blew my mind.

Headed back to the hostel, went to a pub called the Elephant where they gave us free nachos and bowls of snacks because we are such beautiful people. Then we decided to head out. We had met a Scotsman called David and he arrived with the girl from the hostel just before the bar closed. So we all got into cabs and headed to a place called Cult. I went with David and the Russian but our cabdriver got lost. I was worried I would never find my group again. Fortunately, Peter is 6 foot 5 and I found him out the window while we were driving past.

Cult was fun - more a pub than club. That was where we made the fatal mistake. We headed to a nightclub called 'Sorry Babooshka'. Which was an all out nightclub. The boys loved it because Moscow women seem to be genetically engineered to be gorgeous. I rolled my eyes.

At 5am Matt, Dave, Noel, Peter and I decided to leave (Will and Charlie stayed on to go to Propaganda which had been our original destination). In order to get back to the hostel, we entered into negotiations with an unlicesed cab driver who agreed to take us home for 500 roubles. All 5 of us. It turned out his car was older than Rom's, possible smaller and in worse condition. I spent the whole drive back with Dave's arse in my face. Delightful.

If you asked me 3 months ago if I would have got into an unlicensed Russian cab completely drunk and tired I would have said no. I still don't think it was the best idea in the world. But it was funny. And we were desperate. Sarah - pick mum up off the floor and tell her to calm down. I am fine.

STORY THREE
I don't want anyone to think I am just drinking my way across 3 countries and 2 continents. The things we are seeing are awe inspiring. This morning we went and saw Lenin's tomb. The guards grumbled at us for having our hands in our pockets. There were military trucks in Red Square. There were soldiers everywhere. And Lenin looked small and insignificant and waxy and eerily familiar. Apparently he wanted to be buried next to his Mother in St Petersburg. I think perhaps it is time to let that happen (apparently it costs a million dollars a year to keep him refrigerated etc). The Metro system here is also amazing and needs to be seen to be believed. It is deep underground, made of marble and totally ornate. There are chandeliers in the trains stations!

And today I went to the flea market on the outskirts of Moscow and bought a Chess set from a man who let me negotiate a discount if I gave him my one and only Australian coin - a $1. He was lovely.

Other things of interst:
Mullets are everywhere in moscow.
Vodka is cheap.
The McDonalds we went too was meant to be the biggest but I think busiest might be more accurate.

But Baby It's Cold Outside...

I am in Siberia (Irkutsk) and it is snowing!!! Well, it was yesterday. Today it is just cold.

Back to Mongolia for a moment. You know how I mentioned that I went and saw a Mongolian band? Well, I later met the band and got a signed CD. You can be a groupie in any country. BUT only in Mongolia can you meet the band on a street corner, buy the CD out of a pram and have to be quick about it because a band member was actually on the way to thh hospital.

Russian border crossing wasn't too painful - about 7 hours. The scariest/funniest bit was when we got off the train and we were literally the only carriage there. Just perched on the railway. By ourselves. Anyway, we got our passports back from the customs officials and roamed the town. Surreal moment when, on a concrete wall in graffiti, there was a massive lot of spray painitn gthat said 'Kurt Cobain: Nirvana". Weird. Also found crazy Russian pastries thanks to Skye's nose for baked goods. I fed some of mine to a starving dog on the station platform.

Back on the train, drank Vodka and played word association games. Arrived in Irtkusk on the 24th (I think) and went out to Lake Baikal. We stayed in this AMAZING Swiss chalet style cabin with a wonderful view.

Went out to walk on Lake Baikal - I managed not to go arse up but I wasn't as keen as sliding on it as the boys. We did have a snowball fight though. I also dipped my hand in the water, which according to legend will give me a year extra life. Will and Pete actually fell in an we decided that for two hands and two feet that was 6 years extra life.

Then I went DOG SLEDDING. I actually stood on the back of a sled with dogs that pulled it. Apparently the smart ones are up the front and the brawny ones are up the back. It was absolutely freezing but sublime. I was a bit nervous when the dog handler said 'Stand like you are skiing and bend like you do when you ski." I wanted to yell "It was 40 degrees when I left home and this is only the second time I've seen snow. What do I knwo about skiing?" but by then we were moving. I managed to stay on - Adam and Matt both fell off a couple of times on their go so I felt a little smug.

Woke up yesterday and it was SNOWING!!! Opted to avoid hiking and instead tried out a local pastry shop and went to the market. And Daylight saving time started. I am losing all this time and not getting it back! Then in the late afternoon we had the most awesome sauna. 2 hours worth. We even did the hitting each other with birch branches thing. You get so hot and then rub yourself with snow. Brilliant! On the down side, the sheets were were wearing were kinda see through. Hmmmmm....

Next up is 4 days on the train which we are all pretty psyched for. At least there are no more annoying customs checks in the wee hours of the morning.

I can't wait to post some photos - probably won't be until London though. Sorry. You'll juts have to put up with all my boring writing a bit longer.

From Russia with Love.

PS. Sarah M - you totally know you're getting ripped off when the saleswoman says to your friend "You friend is good at bargaining". BUT I really couldn't get het up over what is essentially $2. Bought a couple of cool necklaces though. And I am loving the big red sunglasses I've got.

PPS. Paying real prices for things now which is annoying. Exceot for Vodka and beer which is still dead cheap.

The Beer I Had For Breakfast

We left Beijing on the 17th of March. What is the 17th of March? St Patrick's Day. Do we have Irish people on tour with us? Yes we do. So you can imagine how the first 30 hours on a train went. I have learnt some new drinking games.

The train carriages looked like my grandmother had been given an unlimited budget to decorate with. It was all paisley and floral. Just delightful. I can't wait to post pictures.

Would you believe I arrived in Mongolia on Mongolian Men's day? I only got off the train after I was assured that there was a Mongolian Woman's day that was equally as important and celebrated.

Arrived in Mongolia to the most awesome honcho - her name is Toya. Went and saw a traditional Mongolian Theatre presentation (for tourists) and can I just say...Traditional Mongolian folk singing is the BOMB! They restrict their throat and make this vibrating sound...Gene or Coup you really need to get a sample of it for your next recording.

Later, we went to a restaurant where is cost $2 for a litre of beer (really good too) and watched a Mongolian band - apparently the next big thing in Ulanbataar. They were actually really good. They used all the instruments from the folk show but where the traditional instruments had sculptures of horses and birds on them, this rock band had skulls and painted them black! Very rock and roll!

Just got back from Ger camp - stayed there 3 nights, sharing a ger with Skye (a teacher from Melbourne) and Peter and Noel (the Irish lads). Ger camp was completely awesome. Nice tents (heated to about 32 degrees which was a bit excessive) and you looked out your door to an amazing view of snow covered mountains. Had a few snowball fights, but teh snow is now starting to melt (how, I have no idea, as it is still completely freezing).

Interesting moment came one evening in the dinner Ger when we were playing 'I have never' and Toya decided that her 'I have never' was 'I have never been a prostitute." I'm not sure if that was a lost in transalation moment or she just hadn't understood the game... either way, no one stood up to drink.

Went horseriding over frozen lakes and through forrest. Like being in Narnia. Although the horses were quite small and mine was a bit unco. Visited a Nomad family who I gave my Aboriginal dot painitng playing cards to as a gift. I don't think they were impressed. I think they liked the cigarettes and chocolates others gave better. I was just trying for a bit of inter-cultural bonding! And their tea wasn't very nice anyway. Now I have no cards for the train. Woe is me.

Also - Geghis Kahn? Prnounced Chen-gis. And he is everywhere. He has a massive square with a massive statue. Every street and building is named after him and I am lugging a bottle of Chenggis vodka around. Chenggis, Chenggis, Chenggis. I am so pleased I wasn't his younger sibling. Imagine having that to live up to.

Heading into Russia tonight. 2 nights on the train before we reach Irkutsk. Apparently the boarder crossing comes complete with its own machine guns. Something to look forward to. The lady on the Mongolian Border crossing was a total dominatrix - short skirt, knee high black boots and pink lipstick. With an army uniform. Noice.

Speaking of heels - both here and in China the women seems to be stuck in stilleto heels. I can barely stay upright in a pair of Docs yet they totter around on ice like they are wearing a pair of cricket spikes. And I still feel really tall.

Going for Mongolian BBQ tonight. We'll see how that goes.

They just started playing ABBA in the internet cafe. I think that is either a sign to get drunk or to leave the building.

There Are 5 Million Bicycles in Beijing...

And I swear I've encountered half of them.
It has also taken me 15 minutes to figure out hose to post because everything is written in Chinese. Ah Well. Also - I will post pictures later. I will never be as good at this as Gene et al.

Day One -
Could be summed up with just one thing - me being sick. Seriously.
I got off the plane, got to my hostel and felt sick. I didn't have to time to eat or drink anything in China and I spent the night vomitting and wearing 5 layers of clothing in a hostel room heated to 30 degrees. Nice starting image for you all.

There are others aspects of this story I can't be bothered going into but needless to say, I didn't have any tissues (Wanda should chime in about now), there was a squat toilet in the restaurant and vommitting from a great height should be avoided.

Got up the next morning and went to the Great Wall. Very cool. Couldn't climb all of it due to aforementioned sickness. At this point I would like to say that the wall is built on a VERY big hill, or many big hills, and the sheer size of the mountains would be sufficient to put me off if I were a hoarde. We went to a part of the Great Wall about 230km out of Beijing and some of what I saw was intense. Some farms etc look like they belong in history books!

Also - the Drivers in Beijing...very interesting. They use their horns a lot - usually to tell you that they are about to do something illegal.

Today - went to Silk Markets (where I got better at bargaining as I went along but am absolutely sure I got ripped on the t-shirt I bought first. Actually probably got ripped on everything, but I can live with that). Cool stuff, very cheap. Wish I was here last to shop!

Went to The Forbidden City - HUGE - and Tiannamen Square where I almost bought a Mao watch but the guy trying to sell it to me got accosted by a policeman. Rode the Beijing subway. Very interesting. Tiannamen is amazing! It really is just a big flat pad of concrete but what surrounds it makes it feel like you are in the centre of something great. And the People's Monument is cool. Although the people aren't actually allowed anywhere near it.

I could write more but I have a feeling this is long enough already. We leave for Mongolia at 6:30am tomorrow.


The other thing I should have mentioned was the surreal mometn when I was at a bar in Beijing and, after playing Fiddy Cent and The Black Eyed Peas all night, they suddenly played Belle and Sebastian.

Weird.

And Chinese Beer is about 50cents for a 600ml bottle.

And Jon - Coke tastes different in China.

Leaving on a Jetplane

Last post from Australia. Less significant because this is only my second post generally.
After having sat in Exomod and read emails for the last week, I will now be accessing my internet from a different locale. Excellent.
Tonight, in less than 6 hours, I fly to Singapore and on to Beijing.
Thanks to everyone who I caught up with/talked to/emailed before I left. I really appreciated it and I will miss you!
Thanks to Jon for the poem. Nothing like a rhyming couplet to say goodbye,

Catch you on the flipside folks!

Wither Must I Wander

First blog post.
I leave the country in 5 days.
I have a whole table full of stuff to fit in a very small backback. I think 4 pairs of shoes may be excessive.

My blog is named after this photo by Duane Michaels, who I love because he mixes his photography with interesting captions and poetry:



The writing at the bottom says:
This photograph is my proof. There was that afternoon, when things were still good between us, and she embraced me, and we were so happy. It did happen, She did love me, Look see for yourself!

So, this is for everyone to see what I am doing, prove to my parents that I am still alive and to prove to myself that I really did do those things I can only recall with vague detail.

Comment when you can. It might make me miss you all less.