This Blog is My Proof...

Aint Misbehavin

2008-09-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks. Been offline for a while, and then realised how much I would have to write to catch up so have decided not to catch up and just start from now. Which is with me, in Argentina. Having avoided conflict zones in Bolivia (just), had a massive argument with a tour leader, bought more South American things and generally enjoyed myself I have wound up here, in a city that actually feels like civilisation.

So, I am in Beunos Aires which I LOVE although my entire oponion is based on food and nightlife. Amazing. Currently trying to figure out how to best come back here and live for a month. Had some crazy nights out. Of course. Ate some excellent food. Saw a Tango show at an old school cafe. Tried to speak Spanish top the locals. It has all been ace. In fact I am a bit sorry to leave at all.

And here is a brief retrospective of what I missed these last few weeks:

1. Macchu Picchu - excellent. Amazing. Overwhelming. Possibly going with a hangover was not one of my best ideas yet, but it is so intensely beautiful that it didn't really matter. Amazing zen feeling. Slightly weird tour guide held my hand and tried to tell me about transference of energy and how his aim in life was to build a big circle of rocks. I think I may have missed the point of that.

2. Lake Titicaca - Massive. Puno not that interesting but we stayed with a family on the island and it immediately made me want to give all my worldly goods to charity. Instead I made a contribution by buying an overpriced knitted hat. We all have to start somewhere.

3. La Paz - just when I thought I was getting used to altitude someone kicked it up a notch. The Witches Market was ace. There were actuall dried llama foetuses to be had, but I decided that I preferred the dried disco armadillo (with free sequins). Thought better of trying to explain to Australian customs why I would have wanted a disco armadillo.

4. Salt Flats - the scene of our fight with our tour leader. Nice salt flats, cool cacti. The moment when I developed a reputation for enjoying a fight.

5. Horse Back Riding - a week ago and my butt still hurts.

6. Sucre - very pretty.

That's not entirely it, but I really have to try and get myself sorted for tonight's night bus.

Running for Cover

2008-09-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

South America continues ot be fascinating. I had my cocoa leaves read by a Peruvian lady on a bus and she told me all sorts of interesting things.

I have developed an obsession with the cuteness of Peruvian children. I think it is largely because they wear really lovely little hats and have such big brown eyes and nice skin. It seems to be a specific condition to all girls in South America, even those like myself who aren´t particularly enamoured with children generally.

Anyway, today we got up at 4am (for the 3rd day in a row, this is not a relaxng holiday) to head out to the Sacred Valley, and so the others could start the Inca Trail tomorrow. The reason we headed off so early was that they like their protests in Peru and there is a big one in Cusco today and we were trying to avoid it.

We didn´t. We passed burning tyres, burning rubbish, large bricks and stones thrown onto the road only to come face to face with protesters blocking the road and generally being pretty angsty. A whole lot of tourist buses were caught there, and some went through the line, but it was pointless, because you could see the next bloackade about 100m up the road. And if you couldn´t pass that, you got trapped. We sat there for a while in the bus, assessing the situation (at least our tour guide was assessing the situation) and absolutely shitting ourselves.

By the time they started trying to life a small Peruvian cab off the ground, we decided it was better to make a mad dash back for the hotel. The police offered no deterrence whatsoever and the whole striking and rioting mentality is beyond me. Here, they use strikes as the first tool of ´negotiation´ which doesn´t make sense to me, coming from a country where it is always the threat held over the negotiating table.

The strike was about the fact that the cost of living in Peru is rising. Something that is happening everywhere. The difference being that if the cost of livng rises in Australia, we can´t afford a DVD player. It rises here, they can´t afford food. I can understand why they are angry. But it seems so self defeating. They destroy and block roads which affects them and other Peruvians, they piss off tourists that spend a significant sum of money here, they enlist the help of their children that should be at school. It seems that all the harm they cause falls on their own heads.

Apparently the other GAP Tours bus is still sitting between two protest lines, unable to mnove forward or back, slowly dehydrating. At least we´re not fending off protesters with hiking poles.

The plan is to head out really early tomorrow morning if there isn´t a second day of the strike. But because I am not hiking I am staying at the hotel to sleep in. Which will be nice. I don´t know how the others are going to do it.

Flashing Peruvian Farmers. And their Cows.

2008-08-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

Just so that I can provide evidence of how outdoorsy I have been in South America I think I should note that I have sat on a night bus drinking a large bottle of red wine with my new best friend, Rahki ,and Martin, our exceptionally young tour guide. I have also been in a teeny tiny plane with with people vommitting while I was trying to keep my own dinner down and enjoy the not as large as I expected Nasca Lines.

I went on a boat trip to see animals where my seat broke and I was a little perturbed at teh thought of falling through the boat floor into the freezing water.

I went sandboarding and hooned through sand dunes in a very unstable car looking contraption.

And that brings me to the white water rafting today. I like white water rafting. It is fun. Less fun is needing to go to the loo half way through when you´re wearing a wet suit and one piece swimsuit. My very nice rafting instructor (is itcompulsory that all rafting instructors be super cute?) allowed us to ´pull over´ so I could use the facilities. But not before he asked me for the recipe for pavlova. So, he pointed up a hill, a steep hill, which for some reasons I decided to climb with my oar, and I ended up in a large field.

So I felt it was pertinent to yell down ´Where?´ to which he responded Ánywhere´. So there I was, in a field. With cows. Trying to decide where to best hide myself. Obviously I didn´t do a very good job of this as I had just pulled down my bathers when I realised the cows were, in fact, accompanied by a Peruvian farmer. Who was herding them or something. And who I had just managed to flash.

Anyway, white water rafting was fun. When Sarah fell in, her boyfriend Scott didn´t move to pull her in but instead shouted ´Don´t worry honey, I have the oar´ which I am sure won´t make him that popular. The water was freezing. There were beautiful volcanoes in the background, and you could see the snow on top that fed the river. Absolutely stunning.

Off to check out the sights of Arequepia and head to a discoteque. Hopefully with the guys from the rafting company.

At at least I am making friends with the natives. And their cows.

Visiting the Spanish Inquisition

2008-08-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am in Peru where I am feeling slightly less tall and slightly more damp. I swear, if I saw blue sky it would be a miracle. Enjoying Lima enough. It's hard because all the bits of the city that are safe and that the guide books recommend are the old parts. Which really are lovely. But lets face it, the old parts aren't likely to be able to compete with the 'old parts' of Europe so it just feels a bit pointless. And because I want to leave Lima with all my money and credit cards, I am not particularly inclined to just go wandering about by myself in areas that are designated as dodgy. Just a personal preference.

I went to the Inquisition Museum today to avoid the rain. One of the tortures tastefully reconstructed with wax figures was especially for women only. They lay you on a bech, put a large rock in your mouth and poured water over it to simulate a drowning sensation. Sound familiar? All I am saying is that if the Inquisition thought this was a form of torture, along side burning the bottom of the feet and stretching you on the rack then Ashcroft, Rummy, Bush etc really need meds for delusion. Or a history lesson. Possibly with pseudo-realistic wax sculptures.

I was sad to leave Quito - I had just felt like I was settling in to the school and learning enough Spanish to not look like a complete moron all the time. In fact, I learnt enough Spanish that I help a (bad) conversation for 40 minutes with the woman who drove me to the hotel from the Lima airport. I discovered that we had EXACTLY the same birthday.

Snap Judgement for the Day
I am doing a tour for a while in Peru and Bolivia and was checking out the list of names that were posted on the board. I noted the following:
1. I am the ONLY one not described with a Ms/Miss/Mrs; and
2. Most of the group is married to each other.
So, I am now imagining myself in a group of over 50s but I will be the under 30 not hauling my butt up the Inca trail, but instead catching the train. Ah well.

Una, Dos, Tres...dance, dance dance.

2008-08-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

In my last post I mentioned my lack of rythym and how the verb bailar (to dance) was unlikely to be very useful to me because of it. Somehow, this didn't actually stop me from showing up in the Latin Dance class the school runs every Thursday.

I should clarify that 'showing up' really means 'was dragged up the stairs by my teacher because they were one girl short and I was the only Chicka left in the school'. Talk about desperation. And where in the world, may I ask, is a dance class one GIRL short? If I learnt anything from Strictly Ballroom it's that girls are always doomed to dance with other girls. And Scott will be really mean to you about it when you ask to dance with him at the Pan Pacifics.

Anyway, it was fun, I managed not to maim anyone. In fact I was twirling like a pro in the end and even stopped leading. I think it{s really unfair to teach you the steps one way for 30 minutes, then make the girls do it all backwards. It is very confusing. It was made worse by teh fact the class was in Spanish and half the time I was confused about which way we were supposed to be going. If nothing else, however, I will now be able to count up to 7.

As a side note, wearing thermal underwear to dance class on a warm day was not one of my better ideas.

Went to Otalavalo last weekend were I went to an animal market (weird) and an 'indigensou crafts' market. I use inverted comas because I am not entirely convinced that people who buy live guinea pig to eat have a giant weaving thingy in their back shed to mass produce the lovely, authentic table clothes.

Went to the middle of the world and stood on the fake equator. And the allegedly real equator. Went up the Teleferiqo and saw Cotopaxi which was very, very cool. Apparently the mountain would be covered with snow if it was anywhere else in the world, because it is 4100m above sea level, but being equatorial, it is lush and green. Crazy!

I am actually very sad to be leaving Quito. Just got settled here, met heaps of great people and now I am heading off to Lima. And I hardly speak any Spanish. Argh!! Ah well. There are nice people everywhere. Except Romania, which I am still holding a deep seeded grudge against.

Functionally Illiterate

2008-08-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know how many verbs there are?!?!? All these yars I have been taking verbs for granted, not knowing that I was almost functionally illiterate in my own language. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??!?!

So, in Spanish I can say I am doing something if it is going somewhere, eating, drinking or dancing. Given my sense of rythym is zero, the last is not particulalry useful. And I can't have done it in the past. I have to be doing it or going to do it. Argh!!! This is killing me. I am a verbal person and my responses are stunted to saying I like things and talking about my family.

We've just done a test on which I managed to not recognise the sentence for what is your name , describe Pedro as a dog when they really wanted words like tall, blonde etc and miss the point of one sentence so badly I actually got the answer right even though I was answering something else entirely. So this isn't going very well.

This afternoon we are heading to an Indiginous town for a very touristy market so I can buy a poncho to drag me out from my depression. Because, as we all know, you can't be unhappy in a poncho.

Rookie Mistake

2008-08-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

I should also add that I don't look Latino because I am not a man.

The title of yesterday's post shoud have been 'I don't look Latina'. Which I realised about 10 minutes after leaving school.

Now I am going to conjugate verbs and learn the Spanish word for humourless.

I don't look Latino

2008-08-12T14:01:00.001-07:00

SURPRISE!!! I bet wveryone at home is thinking, wow, that's really funny. Who would have thought Kate with her white skin and blue eyes wouldn't look Latino. Well I don't, and it appears to be attracting a lot of attention. The fact that I am at least half a foot taller than Ecuadorian women is probably part of it as well.

In general I can have a predisposition to worrying about the worst while hoping for the best. Which is kind've how I have ended up in Quito at an immersion language school for 2 weeks, staying with a host family that doesn't speak English and hoping that the 7 of 10 weeks of laguage classes I attended in London would be in some way useful. I was also not entirely sure that I didn't need a visa to get in here until the woman had put a computer print out perilously close to my 'DO NOT STAMP' page.

So I arrived on Friday night and discovered I would be staying with a woman named Venus (pronounced Vanoos but it took me 3 days to work that out) and began signalling in sign langauge immediately. After night of sleep and a sleep in to compensate for my 3am start, I managed to struggle downstairs in time to go to the mall. Anyway, I have managed to establish that her bird's name is Coco which is a start. We'll see.

After 5 days I have managed tof igure out how to have a warm shower.

I also signed up for a 'culture' course meaning I have lunch with teacher every day. Which means I am eating a lot of Ecuadorian food and using my 15 Spanish words to attempt to string coherent sentences together, while worrying that the lettuce will kill me, as the Lonely Planet guide suggested it would. But since I've seen Cuy cooked on sticks, whole pigs displayed on the road side and have eaten pretty much everything put in front of me because 'mi gusta mucho' is one of the few Spanish phrases I know, I think the lettuce will be the least of my worries.

I'm leaving my heart in San Francisco

2008-08-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

I have just been to a restaurant called 'The Stinking Rose' which has the tagline 'we serve our garlic with food' or something similar. It was ace. Except that I have eaten so many carbs now I worry about my ability to fit in a plane seat. I am also concerned because I have to spend 15 of the next 24 hours on a plane. My sympathy for anyone who sits next to me.

But all this is really leading up to the fact that I have just had one of the best experiences of my trip so far. Today I went to City Lights Bookstore which has been a dream of mine since the 12th grade when I discovered Lawrence Ferlinghetti via a Morphine/Ferlinghetti spoken word piece that a girl I went to boarding school was given on a mix tape from her internet penfriend in England who later turned out to be a spoilt rich kid stoner who visited her in Australia and spent most of his time on the couch complaingin about the weather.

Anyway, I've loved Coney Island of the Mind for years. It's my favourite poem. I love it more than Howl. And there I was. In this seminal Beat bookstore that looks a lot like every other bookstore except for the fact that you're allowed to just sit and read.

And they sold copies of Bitch magazine.

So today has been a wonderful day. It really has. I can't properly explain why it was so amazing to be in that bookstore. I am a hopeless romantic. I build small things into big things. I can't help it. But I love that I ended my trip in the USA with that store.

In less than 12 hours I will be on a plane to South America.

So here are the Stats:
Car: Pontiac G6, Green
Miles: 4, 100 (6,598km)
States Visited: DC, New York, Illinois, Missouri, Mississippi, Tennessee, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Nevada, California and probably others that I can't think of offhand.
Big Gulp's Drunk: 1
Number of Emergency Toilet stops: 3
Times Zones Confused: 1
Accidents: 0
Days Inn Frequented: 3
Psychics Visited: 1
Money spent on cosmetics and clothes: undisclosed
Famous People Seen: Jimmy Kimmel, Benjamin Bratt, Huey Lewis (but only because we were part of the live studio audience for Jimmy Kimmel Live) and that guy from the Today show in Australia who was doing a story at the Statue of Liberty when we were there.
Number of people who thought we were English: Everyone. Even the psychic who therefore ultimately undermined herself from the outset.
Number of crushes on Elvis: One big one.
Most Expensive Fuel Paid for: $4.29 per gallon
Most Overrated City: Los Angeles
Place I would most Like to Live: San Fran, Chicago, New York and Austin if it wasn't surrounded on all sides by the rest of Texas

I was going to end this with a Ferlinghetti poem, but then realised that was a bit wanky and everyone would groan inwardly. Besides, I couldn't be bothered typing it out in the correct form, which would defeat the purpose and intent of the poem and my quotation.

Flowers In Your Hair

2008-08-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

I loved San Fran before we even got here. Any city that requires you drive through a cloud to get to it was always going to inspire a degree of enthusiasm that other cities couldn't.

Yesterday we did a quick look around, some shopping and walked up a massive hill. Unfortunately my stay here has been consumed by my need to get my articles docs signed before I end up in South America trying to explain things in Non-Spanish.

This morning I found myself at the Australian consulate where the woman who told me she could witness my documents, actually couldn't and that the Australian Consul was on vacation. She helpfully suggested I take a commuter flight to LA to get it done there. OR when I got to South America to go to Bueanos Aires and the consulate there. Which is actually on the OPPOSITE side of the continent to Quito which is where I head at 6:10am on Friday morning.

So - then I went to a Public Notary that was chosen purely on the basis that it was the closest to my hotel. Which is how I found myself sitting in a hardware store with Haj, the Notary who kept calling me 'Miss Lady', talking about good karma and saying that I had lovely Irish eyes. Even though I had explained that I was, in fact, Australian. He was very sweet - but it is a bit surreal that this lovely, strange old man whose career is largely in cutting keys actually held the key to my future admittance.

I love the vibe of San Fran. It's casual, relaxed, cool. The city is beautiful.

Agreeing With Death Cab

2008-08-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

LA.

I don't know. I think it's funny that there are so many talented, wealthy, artistic people here but nothing about this city seems to say class or culture. There are no trees. They park their cars on the beach. The shopping isn't fun. Smog abounds. The driving is awful.

I had an okay time in LA. Maybe I was prejudiced from the outset. And I've been having a lot of flight/tour/legal practice board issues that somewhat culminated in LA. But they continued to San Fran and I love it here.

George Clooney has a nice hedge. But the stars' houses are meh.

So, to sum it up: I don't know why you'd want to live here.

Viva Las Vegas

2008-08-03T19:12:00.001-07:00

Before we get to Vegas I would liketo detour to our National Parks Day where, in the space of a day, we saw the Painted Desert, the Petrified Forest (forest being a misnomer. This was the desert. There were no trees and petrified refers to old bits of wood lying about) and the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon was quite large. Very large. But because it's so big and it was way too hot to consider going down into it. Ultimately it really felt inaccessible and surreal. And because I havea mild fear of heights I spent most of my time trying to go to the edge without actually going to the edge. All photos have me looking vaguely petrified. Sarah did quite well considering she doesn't like nature.

Then we got to Williams where we stayed on the old Route 66 in a motel that invoked its name. It was old school. Less old school was the fake cowboy show that ran every night. Discovered that we'd been on the wrong time for almost 2 days because hte last time zone was a 2 hour change, not one. That was a bit weird.

Headed to Vegas the next day. Stayed at the Riviera which is where they shot the film 'Casino'. It was very old school. Went and saw 'Ka' which is a Cirque show. I don't think it needs to be said, but it was amazing. That was at the MGM Grand. We also went into a focus group for a TV show. In the feedback section I had no choice but to let them know I was very dsappointed with the blatant sexism, the perpetuation of the unattractive man/gorgeous woman syndrome and the fact that it was significantly worse than the BBC version of the same show, which I never really liked anyway. But I still got a half price Haagen Daas ice cream.

Had dinner at the Ballagio one night. Discovered that pokies aren't that much fun after a while. If you only play the penny ones, you never win much money and if you platy the dollar ones your money goes away too quickly. Minimum bet for most tables were $5 and I am a backpacker, so we mainly just wandered around looking nice until we got bored and went back to our lovely, but reasonably priced, hotel room.

Saw the Coke store. And another MMs world. Discovered the best hotels are the tackiest. Won a toy playing childrens games, which I preferred a lot more than the actual adult gambling. Sarah went on the New York New York roller coaster while I wn tokens on Deal or No Deal.

And that was Vegas. No partying. Very subdued. But it's definitely a cool place to hang out for a few days.

Get Your Kicks on Route 66

2008-07-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know how far we drove today, but we changed time zones and we're 20 miles from the border of New Mexico/Arizona when we started in Texas.

Drove through El Paso which is nothing to write home about. There appeared to be a massive amount of shanties etc. Not very wealthy looking at all.

Alberquerque was fun, but I still can't spell it. Lots of turquoise. Everything looked very pink.

The strangest part of the driving is that there are such vast, open spaces that you can see the weather you are driving into. You can tell that you're about to drive into the mother of all storms, but you're on the highway so you keep going. And you drive for a while, and it becomes fine, but you can see lightning way off in the distance to the side of you.

The landscape is beautiful, exactly like it was in every western ever made. Except, perhaps, hte Sergio Leone westerns that were shot in Europe.

We're driving along lots of parts of the old Route 66 now, which I am, of course, greeting with some delight. We are staying the night in Gallup which is crazy. These towns are small/big/weird and I am not entirely sure how anyone lives here full time. It would breed a totally different mentality.

Driving in the USofA

2008-07-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

When we were driving in Illinois I was internally composing a letter to the President to complain about the fact that the speed limit was 65mph and it was taking forever to get anywhere. Less than 100kmh is prohibitively slow in my opinion.

Then, when we crossed the border into Missipssippi (was it Missipssippi? Possibly it was Missouri, but we definitely went through Arkansas briefly) the speed limit was 70mph which was more reasonable, and made me realise that I would have to address the letter to the Governor of Illinois who was clearly holding his people back. This was not a national issue.

Now we're in Texas, the speed limit is 80mph. That's almost 130kmh. Oh yeah. But I promise I am driving very responsibly. And I am still bollocks at parking.

Other things:
The Texas government sits for 5 months and then goes on break for 18 months.
In the words of the tour guide lady 'who needs more laws?'

Van Horn, Texas

2008-07-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

We're in a place called Van Horn which has a population of about 2000 and there are 50 places to sleep and only 2 restaurants.

We went for dinner at a place called Chuy's (pronounced Chewys, which I may have known had I attended more Spanish classes) where we met a couple from Corpus Christi who confirmed that, yes we were headed in the right direction. They had 4 Chiuanas and were heading to a Rod Stewart concert. She had a dog called Maggie May. I am almost sick of Mexican food.

Then we drove past a place on the main drag where a man made paintings of other paintings and lived amongst his art. This is him:http://www.vangoghtx.com/
He was featured in a book called 'Faces of Texas' or somesuch and his store was totally crazy. Heaps of books and canvases were stacked all over the place. I wish I could upload the pictures effectively becaues the place was nuts. There are so many parts of Texas that a truly, truly eccentric.

When we stopped for lunch today, it was like walking into a movie. A Mexican restaurant with plastic tables and signs that said 'No Checks Accepted If You're Not Local' and a sea of eyes that quickly identified us as tourists.

Anyway, today we found a 'double gulp' which was 2Litres of soft drink for $1.50 and after sharing it with Sarah I spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out which rest stops had bathrooms.

Everything is Bigger In Texas

2008-07-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

We're in Austin and we've just been to see a play called 'I Google Myself'. Actually, it was called 'i google myself'. Anyway, what promised to be a very interesting premise later turned into a three man play where everyone got:
a) beaten up, by each other; and
b) turned out to be gay. And the gay porn star ends up in a wheelchair. And then tries to seduce the stalker man who he avoided for the whole rest of the play.

Sorry if I ruined that for anybody. Community theatre cracks me up. It was worth going, but jeez louise, the ending was ludicrous. Kind've like the script you'd write if you were 10 years old and trying to tie up all the loose ends while giving the audience some romance. Weid as it was.

Then we went to a restaurant where the waitress asked us if:
a) we had facebook in Australia; and
b) if we had onions in Australia.

Sarah laughed, while I tried to bridge the cultural divide by emphasising the similarities between Western Australia and Texas. I think it worked. She told us to go and look at the bats tomorrow night. Which I think we will do.

It's raining here because the hurricane has sent the wether this was. (Hurricane Dolly, which we were trying to avoid but it found us anyway).

I have become obsessed with a show called 'Shear Genius', the premise of which is too embarassing to recount here. But I discovered it while staying in my new favourite roadside hotel chain - the 'Days Inn'. I was most disappointed the other day when we had to resort to a Best Western, I can tell you.

The Capitol Building here is bigger than the one in Washington, but it is pink because it is made from granite instead of sandstone, granite being indigenous to Texas. See, travel broadens your horizons.

Basically we're in Austin to check out the arts scene (hence the community theatre) and the vintage stores. This is a crazy place. It doesn't feel like the rest of Texas and it's possible that a fair chunk of people here even vote for the Democratic Party. You don't get much crazier than that.

The Tour Continues

2008-07-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

Chicago ended up being awesome without seeing any of the sites. I'd been before, and after we'd done Navy Pier, an architectural cruise in the aching heat and a bit of walking about, we headed for the outer suburbs where we checked out the shopping. Very cute city. Great vibe. Went and saw 'All About Eve' for free in the park. God I love that film.

From Chicago we headed to Memphis which was ACE. It's a great little city with awesome blues music, Sun Studios, Graceland (cue: enhanced Elvis crush, but obvioulsy this is a 50's early 60's Elvis crush) and the funniest hostel ever. You had to do chores. So obviously I regressed to a childlike state as soon as I realisedmy first chore was 'sweep and mop all the bathroom floors and the floor outside the bathroom' when someone else had 'dust the computer'. Not very proportional. However, it was located right near a church (????) and Cooper-Young Street which had heaps of cool restaurants and vintage stores. Checked out a poetry reading (poetry is so bad when it's not good) and a blues musician in a really cute cafe that sold clothes and books.

Beale street was weird - but the music was great. We had burgers at Dyer's which apparently were cooked in grease that may have particles form the original first 1912 batch in it. I could feel my heart valves seizing. Sat in a park and watched blues musicians for hours. It was pretty amazing - all this music spilliung into the street. And people drinking yard high drinks. I chose to focus on the music.

Headed down to New Orleans which I LOVED. The Mississippi is crazily big and it amazes me that anyone decided to build there in the first place. You drive along bridges constructed over the water for miles. Saw a plantation and all my Gone With the Wind fantasies were relived. I even sat on a porch. In a hat. Granted, it was my hat and Kangol made it so it wasn't exactly a large, wide brimmed southern lady's hat but it was still cool.

Headed to Coop's for dinner where I ate rabbit and sausage jambalaya and gumbo. Then to Frenchman's street where we hung out with some people from the hostel and watched some fantastic jazz at the Spotted Cat. Bourbon St is a nightmare.

I told a man I was trying to dissuade that I didn't dance because it 'led to sin'. He then decided I must have been very Christian which did not dissuade him AT ALL. Actually quite funny.

Now we are spending our night on the way to Austin. There's a hurricane in Texas and we're about 200 miles from the centre, but the weather is awful. It's raining like crazy.

Coney Island of the Mind

2008-07-14T14:43:00.001-07:00

Guess what I did...

I went to Coney Island and ate a Nathan's hotdog, and watched beach volleyball and went on the Wonder Wheel.

I paid 99c to go to the Coney Island Museum and used the penny left over to watch a film Thomas Edison made about electrocuting an elephant.

We went to a freak show where a man hammered a nail into his head, a woman danced with a really large albino python and a woman who had tattooed almost her entire body and breathed fire. The tiniest girl in the world swallowed an exceptionally large sword.

We queued for pizza at what is meant to be one of the best pizzerias in Brooklyn, where you ended up eating off plastic plates and drinking from plastic cups, but whatever. I read an article about it in the NYT about 2 years ago. The pizza was ace. And you know, you meet interesting people when you're forced to line up for ages.

I went to the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue where we joined a queue we assumed was going to get us into the vuilding. Half an hour later we realised that it was the line for the new iPhone and there was, in fact, a much shorter line for entrance to the store and all its free internetty goodness.

I saw the UN building and then went to the Museum for Democracy where I looked at Presidential campaigning memorabilia and talked to a woman who seemed to be more active and interested in her retirement than I am now.

I saw an off-braodway production about a Christian Rock Band and went to the Comedy Club where Jerry Seinfeld filmed the beginning of each show.

So that was New York. I am in Chicago now, where it is less warm. Not entirely sure what I want to do yet! I'm sure something will come up.

And a Chronological Detour to include Washington DC

2008-07-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

I thought Washington was great. Sarah almost killed me after about 2 hours when I wouldn't stop quoting the West Wing. It's amazing how much in real life can be linked to WW. Even more so when you are actually in DC. Amazing!

I managed to escape unscathed to link everything back to Josh, CJ and the gang. So this was DC:

Library of Congress
Very large building. Many books. Nice bible.

Capitol Hill
Leo: We've got separation of powers, checks and balances, and Margaret, vetoing things and sending them back to the Hill.

It was a very nice building with a big dome and considerably more impressive than Australia's Parliament House. May have taken a ridiculous amount of photos from many different angles, with all sorts of lighting. They (being security) confiscated my sunscreen going in, which meant I had to go back and dig it out of the bin when I had completed my tour. Because you can't waste thigns like that. Grrr....

Archives - Declaration of Independance, Bill of Rights & the Constitution
More queues. Documents quite faded. Occurred to me that Australians may take their constitution more seriously if it was written in calligraphy and someone had bothered to make it a bit poetic.

4th of July Parade
You know what Americans have a lot of? Inflatable balloons. I could understand the reasoning behind the giant American eagle, the uncle Sam hat and even the Garfield dressed as a President. Do I know why there was a giant Hello Kitty balloon? I do not.

Additionally, I think Australia needs more marching bands. We really do. It's not a parade without 100s of kids sweating themselves to deaths in over-ornate band uniforms.

Nuseum
Josh: You're going to be reading a bit today about your secret plan to fight inflation.
Bartlet: I have a secret plan to fight inflation?
Josh: No.
Bartlet: Why am I going to be reading that I do?
Josh: It was suggested in the press room that you do.
Bartlet: By who?
Josh: By me.
Bartlet: You told the press I have a secret plan to fight inflation?
Josh: No, I did not. Let me be absolutely clear, I did not do that. Except, yes, I did that.

4th of July Fireworks
Fireworks around the Washington Monument. Cannon fire that made children cry. Jimmy Smits MCing the evening.

Crab Cakes at Eastern Market
BARTLET: "Toby, go with us to this radio thing."
TOBY: "Oh, god, really, sir?"
BARTLET: "There'll be crab puffs. New England crab puffs by the way. Made in New England."
SAM: "Actually, it's Alaskan crab."
TOBY: "Sam!"
BARTLET: "There's Alaskan crab in this White House?"
TOBY: "You would've have known the difference?"
BARTLET: "Have you tried them?"
SAM: "I... yes, reluctantly. I think it was clear in the way I ate the crab puffs that it was a gesture of protest."
BARTLET: "Were they good?"
SAM: "Extraordinarily good and they're going very fast."

Anyway, that's it. I liked Washington. If only Canberra was as cool as Washington.

I'll Always Love You New York

2008-07-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

In New York. Think it is fabulous so far. Brief summary below. Will blog about Washington when I have more internet time.

Yankees v Red Socks
Oh yes, a baseball game at Yankee styadium where the Yankess clutched victory from the jaws of a draw at the bottom of the tenth with Gardner on 2 strikes. People threw crackerjacks through the air, light beer cost $8, people carried crates of hotdogs on their heads AND during the 7th inning stretch we got to sing 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame'. Americana at its best.

Did anyone know how much stuff BoA sponsors in the USA? I keep thinking that if I was still an employee there may be some kind of discount I would be eligible for.

Guggenheim
Louise Bourgeois exhibition was amazing. Loved it. Didn't matter that all the 'famous; paintings were unavailable to the public. Bourgeois is about to go down as one of my favourite artists of all time.

Broadway
Went and saw 'Young Frankenstein' which was hilarious, as well as blatantly being a Mel Brooks creation. He lvoes his hot blonde girls making out with slightly gormless men. He also loves his anatomy jokes. Set was amazing. Totally redeemed my last musicals experience which was 'Gone With The Wind'. I don't think anyone who saw that would be sorry that it had closed.

The Empire State Building

Queues. Americans love queues. They are good at queuing. You waited in line for security, then you waited in line for a ticket, then you waited in line for the first lot of elevators then you waited in line for the second lot of elevators.

I was publicly called out by a ticket man for rolling my eyes at the couple making out in front of me. I mean, seriously people, the 'romantic' bit is at the top of the tower, not when you're less than half way through the queuing experience.

Things I Like About the NY Subway
1. It is airconditioned (are you listening London?!??!).
2. The cars are massive.
3. It is cheap(ish)

Things I Do Not Like
1. Smelliness
2. Subway maps ar enot great and stations are not imaginatively named.

Ah, Paris

2008-06-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

I think I might love France. Admittedly, I have just arrived in Paris and given that I am basically waiting for people to be rude to me, I am not expecting the mood to hold. Nonetheless, French people have been nice so far, so maybe it's all just a horrible cultural stereotype.

Want to know what isn't a cultural stereotype? French people going on strike. I suppose it isn't really a complete holiday until you have been in someway inconvenienced by striking French railway types, but I had vainly hoped to avoid it. Queue train strike the day I wanted to get from Nice to Lyon. Somehow I managed to get a seat on one of the few trains that were running that day but it involved queuing. Extensive queuing.

Nice was great. Beautiful weather. Having a picnic on a beach wall with Lauren, who I met in Munich, then La Spezia and the Cinque Terra, her friend Jen and two random American guys who had come all the way to Europe to see Radiohead. Twice. One was a lawyer who supported Hillary Clinton. I think I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. A young MAN who supported HC? It defied belief.

I liked Lyon, though I wasn't precisely sure what I was supposed to be looking at while I was there. So I kind've wandered aimlessly. It's a beautiful city. The weather was good. I was staying in a one star hotel with no windows to my room, which was excellent as it enabled me to sleep in. Not so excellent the way there was nothing to open to let the smoke stench out.

Now I am going ot report something that will make my mother despair of me. Cue Wednesday morning when I wanted to leave my one star hotel room. I couldn't find my keys. The door was locked. I tried unlocking it, and at that point I realised that I had left the keys in the lock ALL NIGHT. And it's not like I was in some secluded room. My room was right at the top of the first flight of stairs, which meant that EVERYONE in the hotel had to pass by my door to get back to their rooms. Worse, someone had turned it and locked it so I couldn't get the door open. I sliced my hand open playing (screaming at and aggressively turning) with the lock and banging on the door loudly. No one came to help. After about 20 minutes of this I managed to jiggle the lock just so and it came undone.

What made it worse was that I left the lock in the door that night as well, but only for about an hour before I realised that I may actually have premature altzeimers. Be assured, I am not normally this daft. Mainly because most hostels don't give me keys.

So far in Paris I like the canals and the way they give you a small baguette when you buy salad. I also think it is weird that you can get beer with a McDonalds meal. I think French people are beautiful. It's raining on and off.

Anyway, this hostel runs on a swipe card system and is truly the poshest hostel I have ever seen. There are little curtains that close on each bunk and you have your own reading light and power plugs within your little enclosed area. It is perched on a canal near where Amelie was filmed. Paris is such a cliche. As soon as I finsih this I am going to buy pastry.

And I am supposed to do what then?

2008-06-14T02:02:00.000-07:00

So, you know how I said it has stopped raining? That was my overly optimistic side coming out. Queue thunder and lightning within milliseconds of each other last night. And

So I am in Cinque Terra, where you go to hike, with bad weather, a 'broken' foot (any med students want to do an over the internet diagnosis? It's been painful for week now), the easy walking trails shut, no ferry and I left my rail pass at the hostel. I am spending a lot of time on the internet at the moment.

However! I think we have had a break through - there may be one path we can do and the sun may be peeking out. There are more tourists in these towns than people who actually live here. It would drive me nuts.

BUT - it's still beautiful and I am still enjoying myself, even though I am not particulalry inclined to love French hostel owners at the moment. Don't get me started. Grrrr....

Should be heading to Nice tomorrow where I hope the weather will improve. I am beginning to feel jinxed!

Rome! By all means, Rome.

2008-06-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

I almost didn't go to Rome. Every second person you meet says it's dirty, Italians are rude, it's expensive (granted) and some people have even told me that they wouldn't go back there if you paid them.

All due respect, they are wrong. It's beautiful. I loved it. I love how you can't walk 100m without falling over a piece of history or a store selling overpriced pizza by the slice. I love how things light up during the evenign and you can just wander around and feel like you're part of the city. I love that it was warm.

I didn't go to the Papl audience on Wednesday, using it as an excuse to get into the Vatican Museums wihtout having to queue. As an agnostic, I don't feel that it's really right to exploit something that is meaningful to someone's religion as a tourist event. Looking at art and architecture is one thing, actively participating in something that is not part of your faith is another. This was not clearly understood by the American tour guide trying to get me to go on his tour and go to the blessing. NOT BEING CATHOLIC IS A COMPLETE JUSTIFICATION FOR NOT GOING. Additionally, if you wanted me to list reasons why I am particualrly not a fan of this Pope...anyway. The museums were nice. The Sistine Chapel was smaller than I thought it would, as was the picture of the creation.

I loved the Colesseum. It looksed like an Asterix comic! Also smaller than I thought it would be.

Trevi Fountain was nice but it would be incredibly hard to imitiate La Dolce Vita without getting arrested or having 1000 other tourists in your photo.

I almost got killed by a Vespa only twice. I think that is pretty good. I am not entirely sure WHY they bother to paint zebra crossings in Rome. I think it's just to indicate to Vespas where they need to dodge tourists. Getting across the road is more weight in numbers to stop cars moving.

Currently in La Spezia and it has FINALLY stopped raining!

Catch Up

2008-06-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

*Waring: This post uses the word 'breasts' quite frequently. If you can't deal with that, I am sure my next post will be anatomy free and deal only with statues and churches*

So, I haven't blogged for a while. Here's a summary.

Place I would Most Like to Move To
Berlin. They had a store where you could buy vintage clothes by the kilo and there was a happy hour every Tuesday where things were half price.

I also thought the memorial for the book burning was kick arse. The 170 tracks of Audio at the Jewish Museum was a bit much. But you can't have everything I suppose.

Best Moments
Meeting my German family which was intense.

Sunrise, town square, Krakow. After an amazing night out with some crazy Polish people.

Prettiest Place
Bled. Even though it kept raining and I decided to do a 6km walk around the lake with a bright pink umbrella and shoes that were in no way waterproof. But really, Slovenia looks like every fairytale you ever read.

Funniest Moment
My 88 year old great uncle from Bavaria telling me that I should buy a dirndle. He was trying to tell me why, but I don't speak German and he doesn't speak english. So there was quite a lot of gesturing. It turned out that he thought I should get a dirndle because I have big enough boobs to fill the front part. Thanks for that Uncle Reinhold!

German Words I Can Say
Hot, cold, big small, palace, castle, rock, swan, strawberry, asparagus, beer, wine, chilren, thankyou, how are you, water, cancer, goodnight, good morning, sausage

Mainly because they sound like the English words.

Biggest Cultural Stereotype Proved True
Italian men love women. They really, really love women. So much so that today a man followed me all the way home trying to get me to go to dinner with him. I did think for a while he was trying to mug me. Then I realised I was wearing a white shirt and it had been pissing down with rain. They're just boobs!! It is not necessary to walk several blocks in the rain for further observation!

Also, I went to a party in Bavaria with my family where they served steins of beer and women wore Dirndles without irony. That made my week.

Best Food
Currywurst

Other Random Things
I think 'The Birth of Venus' is lovely in real life. I have always liked it but it is a different colour in person. It seems lighter and brighter! Queuing for 2 hours to see it was not that fun though.

David was magnificant.

Beer gardens in Munich are ace. Ugly, naked German men are not.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...

2008-05-21T00:46:00.000-07:00

Vienna was great. I have a couple of stories not for for internet consumption, but when I get home they wil be part of the 'Slide Night Extravaganza' I will be subjecting all my friends to. I figure I've got to dangle the occasional carrot out there to get people to look at my not very good photography at (short) length.

That is, of course, a joke. There will be no slide night.

Apart from all the brilliant things I am seeing I am constantly struck by the amazing an friendly people I have met. In the last 5 days I have met the following people:

1. dJim (yes, there is suppsoed to be a d there and it's a weird, long story). I met Jim on the train yesterday as we were both missing our connection to Krakow because apparently Polish trains only got at 40mph when people are actually trying to get somewhere. So we chatted on the train to Krakow about life, the universe, everything. He was a really interesting man - he made records for bands like the Microphones (!!) and was a musician/painter. Currently an unemployed musician/painter, but for the past 11 years he had worked as a caretaker for a woman in Boston on her estate. She let him turn any building he wanted into a temporary studio. When she recently passed away, he and his musician friends had a 2day long session in her vintage gymnasium recording songs in tribute to her.

Anyway, we went for dinner last night and ate Polish food at this random restaurant with weird dolls everywhere. He was so cool and interesting. As part of his trip to Europe he had brought photos from the estate to a Czech woman who was friends wth Louise, his employer. He saved the photos of this lady's mother from being thrown out by the people inhertiting the estate and had brought them all the way to the Czech Republic for her.

2. Erna I met Erna on the train yesterday and she was such a cool old lady. She would have been in her 70s and she spoke limited English - explaining to me that she had started learning before Communism but had to stop afterwards. I thought she was doing pretty well. She gave me sweets on the train (yes, I know that's how all good fairytales start, with old women giving youg girls sweets) and pointed out all sorts of things in the countryside and explained some of the history and geography of the country.

When she asked me about me about my trip, I explained what I was doing. She asked me if I knew anyone in Prague and I said no. She told me that now I knew her and that if I ever come back I should come and stay with her. Her husband died 2 years ago and she had no children and that I should definitely call on her. She gave me her address, phone number and was insistent. It was also very cute when she told me that she was very modern and had a mobile number.

Erna is going to Turkey for 2 weeks in July. She said her friends told her she should be home in bed not wandering around Turkey. I couldn't disagree with them more.

3. Austin I met Austin, who is an American missionary and her Czech friend whose name I can't spell, when I first got to my hostel in Prague. They work for a Christian group who teach English in the Czech Republic. Anyway, after my first night there they were heading back to he border town where their program was run and Austin said to me I've been thinking about you travelling by yourself for 6 months and wondering how many hugs you get'. I then got two massive hugs which were very much appreciated, especially since I was in the process of having a massive internal sook about the hostel I was staying in.

Their thoughtfulness almost made me cry actually.

4. Stefan I met Stefan on the train from Vienna. He was from the west of Austria and working in Vienna. He said he missed the mountains. He was so cute and sterotypically Austrian. It may have been that his sports short and golf socks were very 'European Abroad' but he was incredibly sweet.

I also thought Prague was brilliant, even in the rain. I loved its gothic beauty. I am now in Krakow and it is still raining. But again, it is a beautiful city. At least the few blocks of it I have seen.

You know, Hostel, like the movie.

2008-05-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

My sleeping issues of a couple of nights ago were resolved by battering my eyelashes at the English stag group mentioned in the previous post. I was too tired to think that sleeping on the couch was going to be that great. But I would have done it had Juulia not said that there was one free bed in the hostel, but it was in the stag party room - one of their friends hadn´t come and they'd paid for the bed to keep the room to themselves.

Anyway, they let me have the bed and were insistent that I not pay for it (which of course I did) and then I felt incredibly guilty about being mean about them previously. They didn' seem like that bad a guys.

BUT my temporary good impression was erased when I woke up the next morning and the following conversation ensued:
Me: Hey. Did you guys have a good night last night? Good weekend?
Guy: Yeah. It was okay. Not as cheap as I thought and I didn´t get laid.
Me: Riiiiiggghhht....aren´t you the stag?

Obviously I have missed something about the concept of getting married. Ah well. At least I was well rested!

Stayed the last few days in Bratislava, hanging with some cool Canadians. It's a small town with not much to do other than drink coffee and lay in the sun. Pretty lazy times. Discovered a fair few interesting facts about Candaian engineers as well.

I know I said I wouldn´t mention bars but this was way too funny to ignore. I don't know how many people have seen the movie 'Hostel', but it´s set in Bratislava. The basement bar at my hostel was decked out in theme from the movie - complete with severed heads and limbs. There was even a ´table´ made out of a bathtub with blood smeared through it. Hilarious! But a bit ghoulish. But the beer was good and very cheap. The entertainment was provided by a group fo 6, 18&19 year Irish girls who were absolutely mad and hilarious. And a foozball table.

Industrial Complex

2008-05-10T02:54:00.001-07:00

I have had exactly one hour of sleep, I am going slightly around the bend and I have discovered that there are NUMEROUS really cool bars in Budapest. I also have nowhere to sleep tonight which is something that I should remedy sooner rather than later.

Hung out with Julia, Finnish girl from the hostel and the two French guys. Also spent the night with actual Hungarians - nice to actually meet the locals instead of just running away from them. Briefly considered working illegally in Budapest at a vegetarian restaurant. Decided against it alhough apparently it's what everyone does. Works illegally, I mean. Not specifically at vegetarian restaurants.

First bar last night was in a big warehouse with a massive skeleton structure hanging from the roof. Music was industrial/hardcore which isn't exactly my type of thing (except for the brief moment that I wanted the Matrix Soundtrack in year 10 and thought it was pretty heavy). But it was great. Must hang out with metalheads more when I get home. Having said that, I just don't think Australia has the right type of weather for me to be a fan of that type of music in general.

Second bar was smaller. Last club was crazy - had to get in a tiny lift that only carried 5 people at a time and one of those with the guy operating the lift. Victor, the mad Hungarian intent on improving international relations was, by this point in pretty fine form.

I ended up with Julia, Eric and Manu in a park next to the hostel this morning, drinking a bottle of red wine with the cork pushed in at 6am. Talking about not much and trying not to fall asleep on the bench. Very, very classy.

Yesterday I went to the Terror Museum, St Stephen's Basilica, Heroes Square, the park around Heroes Square and some other stuff. Also manged to see the Croatian Head of State's convoy which included a lot of armed Hungarian guards with machine guns.

The next few posts will not be about bars, I promise. Julia has said I can sleep on the couch at the hostel tonight, which I am seriously considering. Tempting...

And although she may have studied with an expert...

2008-05-09T01:40:00.000-07:00

I went to the coolest bar last night. It was in the Jewish Quarter of Budapest where the ghetto was during the war. It seems that most interesting bars in this city are hidden, badly signposted and you have to be in the know or you'll spend all night wandering around aimlessly and stumbling into a kebab store (which is what I did with a couple of French guys and a Canadian the night before). So last night I headed out with Julia, a Finnish girl who works at the hostel.

The bar - it was massive, crumbling, leaking, ramshackle, under ground, upstairs, outside...it just sprawled. It was also exactly the kind of place that would be shut down instantaneously in Australia or the UK because it would breach about 5000 different building regulations. There were holes in the floor, it was an ex-factory style building where no one had bothered to fill in the gaps or smooth the cement and there was a mysterious leak of a substance I had no desire to investigate. The crowd were also very Amplifier-esque but in a much cooler, Eastern European way. Music was awesome. Some very intersting Dusty Springfield remixes included.

After that we went to a Jazz themed bar closer to the hostel. When we got back I managed to run into the stag group staying at the hostel arriving back from their evening out. English men can be such charmers when they're drunk . At least they weren't wearing matching hats or t-shirts.

Oh, and on a side note, apparently it is getting harder for French guys to leverage their accent to pick up women. Bemoaning how unfriendly Hungarian women were, Eric, one of the aforementioned French guys, said 'you used to be able to just say your 'and, eet is so small and white, like a delicate flower and it would work'... Imagine it as Pepe La Pew would say it. Poor things!

Additionally, I have seen some stuff. Like churches. And a synagogue (with Holocaust exhibition) and a park or two. And I went to a market. And saw the parlimanet building. And walked down the not very blue Danube. I also get lost a lot.

It's not ALL about Dracula

2008-05-07T00:12:00.001-07:00

Anyone thinking of going to Bucharest? Don't. it's really not that interesting. It's incredibly grey and really, you should be moving past it to get to the actual pretty parts of the country.

Having said that, upon arrival I did get a very nice religious book from a girl on a bus who wrote 'God Bless You' on the inside. Very nice.

Anyway, I'm going to skip all of Bucharest - which I am sure Libby won't mind, even though she was there for the whole 3 days.

So - bypass Bucharest and got to Transylvania. I went to Brasov where I caught up with some girls I had met at VT and explored the city (black church, main square, train station ticket office). Ended up going for dinner with some very funny Italian guys who certainly fulfilled more than one stereotype about Italian men. It took them forever to get ready, aked for a hairdryer, they were beautifully groomed and they gesticulated with their hands so much that they were almost a danger to public safety. Ended up at a Paris themed bar with bad eighties music where a Romanian boy managed to almost break my elbow with a door and insisted upon kissing it better despite my assertion that I was, in fact, fine. Very weird. Kind've sweet!?!?!?

Went and saw Bran Castle on a bus that I wasn't sure was going to make it. I think that there should be an acceptance that anything over 50 years old shouldn't be used as a people moving vehicle. This also applies to Soviet trains still running in Romania and Bulgaria which are less than comfortable. Castle was fine - more impressive outisde than in.

They have a strange obsession in that part of Europe with writing the name of the town on a hillside - Hollywood sign style! Maybe it's because they filmed 'Cold Mountain' there.

Last night I splurged an extra $10 and got a 4 berth on a sleeper train for my trip to Budapest. Free bottle of water. Better than a lot of hostel accomodation. Met a really nice girl who spoke Romanian, Hungarian, German, English and Spanish. She was on her way to a job interview (she was a law grad) and was really sweet and helpful. She also told me a lot about the history of Romania and what it had been like to live under communism. Really very interesting.

I'm now in Budapest.

Another beer thanks, barkeep...

2008-05-01T06:10:00.001-07:00

Bulgaria, Bulgaria.

I swear to God, today is the first rain free day I have had since I left the UK. Lovely. I am in Veliko Tarnovo which is a town between Sofia and Bucharest. I am continuing the Good Bulgarian Hostel experience - this one is a converted Bulgarian farmhouse. Ace. The only problem is that the town is a hill and we are the bottom of it. Calf muscles are working over time.

The Australian couple I met on the bus have provided good company in Sofia, then to here. And we've added a guy named Nathan to our temporary posse. Between us all we managed to figure out where we were supposed to get off the bus yesterday. But it was a close run thing...we mistook our destination for a rest stop and happily piled back on the bus for the last hour of our journey before we were told to get off the bus. In no uncertain terms.

Sofia was quite a small city and it was nice enough to look around. A bit sad in some ways because there is a lot of decay and ruin that they have stuck bright signs over. It's very post-soviet but the people are friendly and the beer is cheap ($1.60 or 60p per pint). The Rila Monastery was absolutely stunning - high up in the mountains it was so sedate! And the Bulgarian doughnuts weren't bad either.

Took advantage of cheap beer prices last night in VT and have been struggling for most of today. Ah well. Somehow I managed to end up with half a packet of pretzels given to me by a stranger who could see that I was trying to get some crisps at a bar that sold no food. They were cheese flavoured pretzels. I think there are some instances in which sticking to tradition is best. Salt on pretzels is one of these.

I am being thwarted by Orthodox religious holidays which means basically nothing has been open for days. Or is only open sporadically. It's making getting on the train quite a challenge.

Anyway, Kylie and Aaron (abovementioned Australian couple) are chefs and will be cooking for us tonight. After 3 nights of free hostel food we decided it would be better to find a market and make something that wasn't pasta with ketchup on it.

I´ve seen John the Baptıst´s Skull

2008-04-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

Please excuse me ıf thıs appears gramatıcally ıncorrect. I can´t fınd the comma key and the I ısnt lowercase unless I press the dıfferent i button whıch I am almost certaınly not goıng to do.

ANZAC Eve at Gallıpolı was absolutely freezıng - as photos of me wearing 7 layers a
skı jacket and a sleepıng bag wıll attest. It was a pretty amazıng nıght and the dawn servıces ın the mornıng were amazıng. It seemed somewhat strange that everyone gets so patrıcotıc about a war ın whcıh we were essentıally tools of Empıre. It is ıncredıbly movıng from a cultural perspectıve though. And ıf one more Amerıcan says ´that Australıan thıng´about ANZAC I am goıng to start referrıng to ´that Hawaıı thıng´and see how they lıke them apples. Lots of other thoughts on thıs that can´t be expressed wıthout approprıate comma key.

Other thıngs ın Turkey:
1. Blue Mosque - photo opportunıty ruıned by badly placed strıngs. Stıll amazıng.
2. Bad hostels wıth holes ın the wall
3. The Topkapı Palace - I have now seen John the Baptıst´s head and hand bones. The hand stıll had tendons. Oh - and the palace was generally pretty ımpressıve. A lot of ınvestment ın *blıng* ın the Ottoman Empıre.
4. Sofıa - an amazıng ex-catholıc church that was converted ınto a mosque and ıs now secularç In honesty the Catholıcs dıd a better job of decoratıng. Although perhaps there was an over relıance on mosaıcs.
5. Eatıng more meat on stıcks than my actual body weıght.
6. Bus trıp wıth drunk Kıwı boy who seemed to only be able to yell ´Jane´ sporadıcally.
7. Phosphorous cruıse ın whıch one bank of the rıver ıs Europe and the other ıs Asıa.
8. Hotel dısasters. Partıal tour refund. Skanky ´bellydancers´ that were more realıstıcally strıppers. Angry comment to tour company about female empowerment and supportıng exploıtatıon of local women.
9. Gettıng groped on the Metro all the damned tıme.

Anyway - nıght bus to Sofıa tonıght where I wıll be checkıng out the sıghts of Bulgarıa. Woot!

Next Bit

2008-04-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

I'm going elsewhere now folks.

London has been amazing. But it's time to go somewhere I can only communicate through hand gestures and speaking louder.

I'm catching a cab at 4:30am on Wednesday. To go to Terminal 5. There is nothing positive in that sentence.

Going To The Chapel for £50,000

2008-04-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

If, at any future time, I decide that I am giving up on whatever I have said about the state of holy matrimony previously, and as a result of this I for some reason decide to get married, please remind me that I do not want any of my guests to dress up as fairies or Mickey Mouse.

I just mention this because, if I did decide to get married my brain may have melted and it might have turned me into one of these people:

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/family/story/0,,2272085,00.html

I am also just going to put it out there - you're my friends, I love you, but if you have theme weddings, do not request that I wear anything 'prince charming blue'. It will mean that the only theme I will be inclined to adhere to is black wearing, gin swilling harpy searching for the free booze.

I think I might be sick...

2008-04-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/food/story/0,,2272815,00.html

Sadly, I have actually walked passed the one in Nottingham.

you know, I can't help but think that the guys who go to these things are just really, really pathetic. And perhaps the reason they can't get real women to talk to them is because they go to Hooters?

And another thing...

2008-04-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

Also, it snowed on Sunday.
I got overexcited because the view from my bedroom window was adoreable.
This time last year we were sitting in the sun, before the onset of the summer that flooded.

Snow is ace until it starts messing with the public transport system.

No Hawkers or Campbells

2008-04-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

Where: Scotland. Edinburgh, Highland Tour, Isle of Skye
When: Easter Long Weekend.
Who: Me, Lib, Wild In Scotland Tour Group
How: Plane, bus

11 Things I Like About Scotland
1. Too cool for school tour guides who know everything about Scottish politics and history. Who also say things like 'I studied politics because it just means you can argue all the time over nothing. Which I love.' Best tour guide I've ever had for anything.

2. Mountains and snow that look EXACTLY like the you expect them to, but are still amazing. I especially loved Glen Coe (where I managed to fall over and crack my knee on a giant rock inducing a massive amount of pain and swelling that is still continuing. This is exactly why I don't hike. I also blame the American boys for it, who I will continue to complain about below). Glen Coe is said to mean Valley of Weeping - the story about it is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_Glencoe but the important thing to note is that when it rains, the water spills down the side of the mountains, into the valley. And it really does look like a flood of tears. It appeals to the romantic in me.

3. Drinking Whiskey.

4. Loch Ness, even though I can't skim stones and didn't see a monster. It's amazing. It's also the biggest fresh water lake in Europe. So now I have seen the biggest fresh water body in the world/Asia and the biggest in Europe. Maybe it could become the theme of my trip?!?!?

5. The 5 Sisters of Kintail. The story of the Five Sisters is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sgurr_Fhuaran. In essence, 5 sisters were turned into mountains so that they would remain eternally beautiful while waiting for their husbands to arrive (from Ireland, which they never did. Maybe they also had trouble at Terminal 5). Apparently, the spell will be broken when an Irish man stands on each of the peaks (I smell a Mythbusters...). Apparently it is said that when the peaks are covered in snow, as they were when we saw them, it means that they are dressed in the bridal gowns. I could write an essay on sexism in Scottish Folk law, but Lib already told me to lighten the f*ck up when I was lecturing her about women's issues after hearing the story of the female warrior giant (tamed by love).

6. Prophecy Stones. Derived from this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahan_Seer We hunted for them on the beach on the Isle of Skye. While it was snowing. This is also where it was proved that Lib and I were the only people who were wearing appropriate clothing for the conditions. Oh yes. We are the outdoorsy type. With waterproof shoes, waterproof jackets and proper attire.

7. Edinburgh. The Castle, the beauty, the freezing cold (colder in Scotland in March than it is in Siberia. I swear to God).

8. Ballboy.

9. Surprisingly, Easy Jet letting us back on an earlier flight so we were well rested for work the next day. Remind me I said this at some point when I am cursing budget airlines name.

10. Hunting for Easter eggs in a fairy cove on Easter Sunday.

11. Hairy Coos.

4 Things I Don't Like About Scotland
1. American boys who are on your tour and proceed to not wash up, drink people's booze, not help with cooking, wear impractical clothing, behavie anti socially, call their mum via laptop complete with a video camera when everyone else is drinking, say things like 'my girlfriend, almost fiancee' and generally behave in a brattish manner AND THEN when we decided to give the remaining kitty money to the tour leader as a tip (rather than mess around with trying to distribute a measly £4.33 to everyone on the bus) they get dropped off and ask for their bit back because they were too pathetic not to speak up in a group and were CLEARLY NOT WELL SOCIALISED.

2. Pretending not to work for the bank that built the bridge that everyone hates. Though perhaps this is not specifically Scotland's fault.

3. Losing my beanie when it was FREEZING.

4. Messing up the hostel booking and arriving on Easter Friday to discover that you have no bed. Again, perhaps not Scotland's fault. Almost would have preferred to sleep in the street instead of in long term all boy's dorm. Bleh.

Any questions?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2008-03-29T14:34:00.001-07:00

Boat race. Oxford won.
About as boring as last year. You see about 15 seconds of highly toned man flesh zoom past you and that's that.

Anyone else excited?

Don't Panic!

2008-03-28T08:19:00.001-07:00

Chronologically awkward update:
The Panics in London on Wednesday night played the best set I have ever seen them play. Who the hell knew bad weather would make J happy and talkative?

Must..blog...about...Highlands...

Grey Gardens

2008-03-18T14:15:00.000-07:00

Kew Gardens and the Henry Moore Exhibition
aka Everything Looks Better In a Park. Sculpture is no exception. Even when it is raining and the tour guide is clearly one step away from permanent residence at an old folks home. I suppose it takes a specific type of person to want to spend their Saturdays showing people around a garden but thank heavens for those people. Kew was amazing, the Moore statues were mind blowing - and they way the pieces had been positioned was phenomenal. Earlier this year I went to the Chelsea Physic Garden which was interesting in its own way, but quite small (it was built in the middle of Chelsea) I can see how they felt somewhat slighted when Kew opened, just a boat ride away, with all that amazing space. And budget.

Kew Gardens also had the building where the 'mad' King George convalesced. Ooohhhhh....history.

St Patrick's Day
SPD last year I was on a train between China and Mongolia with two mad Irish boys who were intent on drinking the Trans-Mongolian dry. This year I was in Trafalgar Square with an umbrella. And not even that many Irish people. Sure, there were a lot of people who claimed to be sort of Irish, but if you don't have the accent and the twinkle in your eye then it seems somewhat lacking. Or perhaps that was just the whole Trafalgar Square aspect - it was kind've what I imagine it would be like if the City of London and Ken Livingstone were allowed to organise an Australia Day celebration.

So instead of intermingling with actual Irish people, I absorbed the 'traditional' Irish performances. Like the releasing of thousands of orange, white and green balloons just after Ken had been touting his green credentials. I also met 3 Argentinean brothers who pretty much Marlon Brando-d me. Definitely looking forward to South America now.

Work
Things I learnt today: if you get fired, don't post about it on your blog and say all manner of things that are not true. People will look at it and laugh while preparing court documents.

Dedicated Follower of Fashion

2008-03-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

I have 2 skirts in different colours but the same cut.

I wear them each once a week and have done for about 7 months.

Today I discovered that the zip is supposed to be at the side, not the back.

Stupid skirts.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2008-03-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Went to see Jersey Boys last night (with Alana, Libby, Kate and Wayne). I was almsot thwarted in my attempt to get there by transport for London and the inability of the Tube to work as soon is it rains (some would call this a somewhat minor design flaw failing to take account of English conditions, I would call it a pain in the arse). Anyway, once I actually got to the theatre (after locating a bus) the play was pretty amazing. The way they used screens and cameras, projecting the live action on the stage onto screens above made it look like they really could have been on the Ed Sullivan show.

For anyone who doesn't know - it is based on the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and the songs were, unsurprisingly, fantastic. The actor who played Frankie, although a little nasal, did a surprisingly good job given that he has the task of imitating a fantastic and famous voice. My one complaint would be that the songs were not much used to progress the plot - sometimes it jsut felt like an elongated karaoke. But, I'm a sucker for men who do little dances 1960s style, so I was pretty much won over. I was less won over by the women who decided to sing along to everything. We all know the words. We've paid £42 to hear the short guy with the nasal voice sing. Internal dialogue people!

Oh - on the weekend I went to Nottingham to see Luke (you know, my friend Luke, from Nottingham?) and it was really fun. For the following reasons:
1. Robin Hoods: They were trying to break the record for the most amount of Robin Hoods in one place the weekend I arrived. I was not aware of this and assumed for the longest time that this was just what one should expect from Nottingham.
2. The Robin Hood Ride: Hilarious, tacky. I didn't learn anything except that ski lift thingies can be put to alternative purposes and the level of 'high tech' at this place was one of the guides leaping out at you and yelling 'boo'! Almost on par with 'Mini Europe' for most fun I've had at a dodgy tourist attraction.
3. Notts County Football Game: Not to be confused with Notts Forrest. Notts country are the oldest league club in the world. Luke has season tickets. Even with my limited level of football knowledge I knew the quality of football was not great. But the people were funny and interesting. AND I might be in a book. There was a guy there who has been hired to write a book about the Notts County season - and he interviews a couple of people at every game to get different perspectives. He wanted me for an 'Australian Perspective' So - I have now spoken about English football on behalf of all Australians. Bet you're all pleased to hear that.

In other news - I have moved house. I am now living with Wayne. In future house moving situations I have learnt:
1. Not to move in with an alcoholic;
2. Not to think that said alcoholic is likely to pull herself out of it;
3. Not to leave booze of any description in the kitchen whilst living with said alcoholic; and
4. Not to call my mother at 4am London time, while drunk, and trying to rouse my room mate from her passed out state. To explain why I thought this would be effective - I was actually trying to call my mum so that I could get my home phone number to call and try calling the house phone to wake Sam up where where ringing her mobile, knocking on the door and pressing the doorbell had failed. I do not think my mum has super powers that would allow her to unlcok doors using her Jedi mind tricks from the other side of the world. Did I mention that while I was calling my mother, I was standing on a sandbank with a massive stick trying to tap on our lounge room window so that Sam would wake up and get her keys out the front door so I could get the fuck in? I'm surprised I wasn't arrested.

That's all for now.

I started a list...

2008-03-05T04:37:00.001-08:00

This is a list of bands and plays I have seen in London thus far. I keep forgetting and thought I had better write it down so that I could remember most of it.

The bands:
Modest Mouse - Royal Albert Hall
The Decemberists - Royal Festival Hall
Stars - Scala and Koko
Broken Social Scene - Scala
Billy Bragg - Roundhouse
The Go! Team - Electric Ballroom
Lucky Soul - 100 Club
Daniel Johnston - Union Chapel
Shins - Hammersmith Apollo
Ryan Adams - Hammersmith Apollo
Portishead (yet to see)
The Panics (yet to see)
Stupid Wilco cancelling *shakes fist*
[It felt like a lot more - but I can't remember. It felt like I was always waiting for tickets to be delivered on a Saturday morning.]

And for the plays:
Wicked (twice)
The Lion King
Billy Elliot
39 Steps
Little Shop of Horrors
In Celebration
Equus
Globe Plays; Merchant of Venice, Othello, Love's Labour Lost
Les Miserables
The Drowsy Chaperone
Spamalot
The Woman In Black
Avenue Q (twice)
Lady Be Good
Jersey Boys (Next week, preview performance, so amazingly glad to be getting to see it before I leave)

Pretty good job methinks.

You Woke Up My...

2008-03-04T15:48:00.000-08:00

I have just seen one of the best gigs of my life. Seriously - Billy Bragg at the Roundhouse.

When I first got there I thought I'd arrived at the wrong place - there was a sign that said 'Support The BNP'. That seemed wrong, Billy Bragg not being known for his fascist tendencies. However upon closer inspection it actually said 'Support The Destruction of the BNP' so that was alright.

I've never been to the venue before but it is insane. I love it! It is cavernous, and as the name suggests, circular. The stage is about the height of the one at the Rosemount but the roof is about 25m high. Intense but brilliant. And there he was - this lone man who held the stage by himself for 2 hours and made me love him even though my feet hurt, I had been working until 7pm (serving a counterparty who officially hates me after consecutive services) and I'd had enough of the day.

He talked about the Clash and the Rock Against Racism march in Victoria Park (which I pass on the bus every morning), he played songs off Mermaid Avenue, Back To Basics and Don't Try This At Home. I have never been at a gig in my life with so many old men that looked the same - short hair, leather or khaki jackets, jeans, grey hair.

He also talked about his son Jack playing 'Rock Star' continually on his play station. He covered the Buzzcocks. The crowd knew ALL the words to his songs and he was quite content to just let them sing while he played guitar. Sounds like it should have been awful but it wasn't.

So - I know everyone probably saw him at Big Day Out - but it really was amazing. I have never heard the phrase 'geezer' been used that much in one night. What a champion.

Saturday

2008-02-09T12:18:00.001-08:00

Steff and Wayne are waiting for me to finish blogging so we can go out. SORRY!

Africa

2008-02-08T05:25:00.000-08:00

Morocco was very cool. Although the fact that I was sweltering in 21 degrees does not bode well for me coming home.

Sweeney Todd was quite wonderful.

Steff G and Sarah Mumme are currently visiting. It's like Perth in London.

Went and saw the Lloyd's Building and Bank of England Museum yesterday for work. My boss is awesome.

Blog For Choice

2008-01-22T10:08:00.001-08:00

Today is blog for choice day.

And I think I should probably add something here because I have a blog and I am ardently pro-choice.

I think that woman have the right to determine what happens to their bodies. They are capable of making informed decisions for themselves. They should need the patriarchy to 'allow' them to make reproductive decisions that are right for themselves.

I am pro-choice because I trust women.

I am pro-choice because abortion will happen whether it is legal or not. When it isn't legal, it is the poor and disenfranchised that suffer. When abortion is not easily accessible, women die or are seriously harmed, whether it be emotionally or physically.

I am pro-choice because I think women are in the best position to judge whether an abortion is the right choice for them.

I am pro-choice because we've had teh alternative and it didn't work.

I am pro-choice because I believe doctors and politicians should respect that women are entitled to bodily integrity and should not be judged for the reproductive decisions that they make.

I am pro-choice because this rings true: http://spot.colorado.edu/~heathwoo/Phil160,Fall02/thomson.htm

If anyone is interested in this discussion, you should check out feministing.com - one of my favourite blogs. Jessica Valenti is my hero. One of my heroes. It shows you exactly what a woman's right to shoose means and how easily it can be taken for granted.

Happy blog for choice day.

Hug My Soul.

2008-01-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

Hello. Hope everyone had a good weekend. I gave out free hugs in Trafalger Square which was really, really fun and put me in an exceptionally buoyant mood. No real surprises there. Hugs on masse were cool. We also met some really interesting people. Like the boy who thought that those blue pens that have four colours in them were specific to France and insisted that I must have go tmine from there. Or the hot Venezeaulan (not spelt at all correctly) guy who got us enthused abotu free hugging in the first place.

Saturday night, we went out to club in Holborn. Which was awful. We'd lined up for ages, only to get downstairs after paying £16 and realise that we'd rather just hide in the ladies loos than participate in the surrounding idiocy. Plus, I'd forgotten my glow sticks so action had to be taken. So we made Suza ask for a refund on the grounds that she was the most sober.

Abridged exchange between Suza and club manager:

Suza: Hello. We'd like to get our £16 back because we got separated from our friends and they can't get in...

Club Manager: Yeah, right. No way..

Suza:...and because we've only been here 5 minutes and someone has already offerred to sell us drugs.

[cue fake disapproving looks from all of us behind Suza]

Club Manager: Sure. No problem. I'll just go get it.

Obviously there was a bit more rigmarole to it than that, but I think it is the one and only time I haev ever attempted to get a refund from an appalling club. But for £16 cover charge I either had to:
A) Buy a tent and move there permanently;
B) Get drunk and pretend I was having a good time while secretly wishing pain upon my fellow club patrons; or
C) Get a refund by suggesting that we were the type of people who were at all surprised by the fact that there are drug dealers at clubs in London. And that we might also be the type of people who would write a letter to the authorities.

Feeling newly wealthy, we ended up heading to a cool soul bar and danced what was left of the night away. Tip to any guys reading this, if you are are going to go for the always tenuous 'smell compliment' stick to something within the flower range. For example 'you smell like tulips'. Do not suggest that a girl smells like:
- pillows (wtf?) or
- like you should already be in the shower together (eek!)
I am sure for most of you this was an unnecessary lesson. But apparently not all men have learnt it.

The evening ended, as all good evenings do, standing near Tottenham Court Road with a massive cone of frites covered in garlic sauce.

At least I was sober enough not to order a kebab.

Almost Famous

2008-01-07T01:15:00.000-08:00

If anyone would like to see photos of me at NY, currently appearing in TNT magazine, you may look here:

http://www.tntmagazine.com/spotted/?ID=imageView&Image=12&CatNo=10553&pageNo=1

http://www.tntmagazine.com/spotted/?ID=imageView&Image=55&CatNo=10553&pageNo=1

I think it is nice to observe how the evening deteriorated. Hanging out with the photographer is great from a free drinks perspective. Not so much from a hiding your drunken moments perspective. *sigh*

My Cute Fiend Sweet Princess

2008-01-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Despite the better, feminist part of myself, I really enjoyed the new Disney film Enchanted. In the way that you enjoy Grease when you are older - you get all the 'dirty' bits. Or at least the slightly dodgy bits. And then you laugh inappropriately in a cinema full of children who prefer the part of the movie that involves a temporarily mute chipmunk. Ah well.

Also interesting to note is the way that Disney Princesses have become emaciated over the years. From Snow White:

To this, in Enchanted

Just saying. I've also just noticed while searching for these photos that Snow White has got a lot thinner recently. More shiny as well. I'm all for digitally remastering, it's the not so subtle nip and tuck that seems unhealthy.

With respect to Disney Princess, it's also worth noting that they have recently had issues with 'non-traditional' female characters such as Mulan and Pocahontas not being included as part of the Princess range because they don't sell that well. Wow. Racist and sexist. Nice work Disney. I particularly like that the two most empowered Disney females that I've seen (and really, it isn't saying much that they are the most empowered of a particularly weak willed lot) are not continuing to be marketed to young girls.

Apparently the better, feminist part of me was not entirely subsumed in the happy sing along aspects of the film. Ah well.

So this is the New Year

2008-01-01T03:53:00.000-08:00

And I am not even hungover.
And we didn't get stuck Borough.
And we hung out with Australians. And Kiwis. And South Africans.
And it was stinking hot. At least in the pub.
And I am down one beautiful, brand new, teal silk dress. Lost to the world of kebab sauce.

That is all.

Drug-Stabbing Time

2007-12-27T15:32:00.000-08:00

I've said to heaps of people that I don't live in the safest part of London, but it isn't the worst part either. Tonight I picked Netta up from the new St Pancras and took her to Suza's house. On the way home, discovered that I had wandered into what looked like a set from The Bill. Police tape, a huge amount of 'bobbies' and those little white tents they put up to preserve blood stains. This is what had happened, for anyone who is interested: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/12/27/nstabbing127.xml

Of course, because they'd blocked a big chunk of Upper Street off, there were no buses heading down Essex Road and no cabs in the area either. So of course I am left with no other option but to walk home through hoodie central. Which to me only increases the likelihood of someone else (ie. me) getting mugged/stabbed/accosted by drunks. Oh look, I live in Islington/Stoke Newington where there have been numerous other stabbings of late. I think I'll just take a late night stroll home.

Anyway, I'm now watching comic relief. Stabbings and Take That performing for charity. Tomorrow I am heading out to buy a Kevlar jacket.

Welcome to England Netta.

Belgian Things

2007-12-27T03:45:00.001-08:00

Christmas in Belgium was fantastic. In the sense that any time you can go to a country where you can eat cones of frites and drink super strong beer with impunity, you are inevitably going to have a good time.

The Christmas markets were nice. The heavy food was great. The weather was crisp and sunny. And at 3€ for a glass of Leffe, any potential possible homesickness was washed away in an alcoholic fog. (This is a joke, mum and dad. I wasn't spending Christmas singing carols to myself in a drunken stupor. No - I was eating a chicken club sandwich and having a nice afternoon nap while reading the presents I was given by my 'orphan family').

So yes, I had a good time, not much homesickness and the enduring feeling that Christmas in Europe at least feels like Christmas and that maybe we in the southern hemisphere should just celebrate something different altogether. Something that doesn't require us to put an aging man with a white beard into board shorts on the beach in order to make it at all appropriate to our environment.

Having said all this, I have come to the conclusion that Belgium is perhaps the MOST boring country in Europe. I mean, it's pretty and people are friendly and I will grant that it was Christmas, but it just didn't feel that interesting to me. Mayeb it was my mood. Maybe it's because it wasn't the ideal time of year to do all the 'war stuff'.

But I don't think anything illustrates that innate boredom that is Belgium than the fact that one of Brussels' most popular tourist attractions is 'mini Europe'. Which cost €12 to get into. Or 4 glasses of Leffe. And there you have the Belgian view of Europe. In which 'Europe' is really only the countries in the EU. Ooooooo...political.

The Netherlands will be 'New in 2008.

The awesome work of 20th Century engineering, the Channel Tunnel, is represented by a piece of PVC pipe and some pond water. With a small mechanical train for good measure.

The Ireland display came complete with barnyard noises.

Slovenia didn't even crack a monument. Just a patch of grass. Same for Estonia and some of the other 'lesser' EU Nations.

Belgium seemed to have twice as many objects of interest as France, and I am telling you, it just isn't so.

The collapse of the Berlin wall was shown with a Tonka truck pulling down a small piece of plastic with some truly bizarre sound effects.

The most amazing thing about this was that some of these displays cost €350 000 to make. Those must have been some expensive Tonka toys.

So that was Belgium. And Christmas. Thanks to Wayne, Katie and Deaks for sharing my Christmas with me and preventing me from just sitting around, eating chocolate and watching TV. Oh, wait....

I will post pictures of mini Europe when I feel like I can loko at them without cracking up.

Red Red Wine/I Want To Ride My Bicycle/It Is A Truth Universally Acknowledged

2007-07-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a while. I don't know why. I have been busy, but no busier than usual. I have felt guilty about it, not fo your sake (I note hte overwhelming concern about my safety given that everyone is trying to blow everything up), but for mine, because the leather bound journal idea has long sense ceased to be a reality so whatever I am writing here is likely to be the only permanent record of anything I have done. Jon suggested that one day I may look back at the time I have taken writing in a journal, or blogging, and think 'I wish I had spent my time doing other things'. I would tend to disagree.

One day I am going to forget everything (I can't veen remember where I was on Tuesday, although given how hungover I've been all this week I must have been drinking. No - that's right, I went to London Bridge for a drink with Marianne. See, I figured it out, but that won't always be possible)

It is a Friday night. I am sitting in my flat, alone, with a bottle of wine, Sam Cooke, and candle light. Cliche, much? Nice to do nothing.

BATH
A couple of weeks ago (30th of June) Marianne and I headed to Bath.
We got there and headed straight to Bristol so that Kat could look for a wedding dress. Her and Adam are newly engaged. None of you know these people. I didn't until a couple of weeks ago. I am trying to paint a picture.

Didn't get to see much of Bath because of the rain. I ducked into the Jane Austen museum briefly. Sorry Steph. Disappointing. The best bit was buying 'Persuasion' and reading it on the train home, where I had to stand for two hours because because hte train was over booked and we didn't get seats. Post Jane Austen Museum we went and looked at the die hards playing Boules in teh rain. They take their local tournament very seriously. It made me want to live in an English Village.

We were basically in Bath for the Taste food Festival. This being England, and it being summer, the outdoor food festival was a washout. An outdoor food festival in the pouring rain. The free ponchos they handed out in the door did little to warm us up. The tent giving out free whiskey did. As did the beer and wine tasting courses. Ah, the simple things.

Post drenching at the food festival we went out to a pub/club in bath where I ened up talking ot the DJ for about 3 hours about Motown. He even let me handle his vinyl. No, that is not a double entendre. All I am saying is that over here, the records Rob would charge me $15 for are about 50p. I think I may have to ship things home. Fun night all around.
Adam (I was staying with friends of Marianne's called Kat and Adam) woke me up the next morning for a game of Blackgammon, which he had taught me to play the day before. My response would have been 'I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass' except for the fact that I am still not Yo La Tengo and my head was ripping open. Well, I did beat him. But I am not sure it counts if he is actually helping you because your head feels like it is going to explode. Having said that - I'm throwing the gauntlet down to anyone who wants to take me on.

Went to the cutest pub for lunch in a neighbouring village. It was about 400 years old and the floor actually sloped. Had a Sunday roast. Delightful. And then back to London.

TOUR DE FRANCE
London is a big city. The Tour de France was a big event. I don't know many people ion London. Hence it came as somewhat of a surprise to run straight into Dave, who I went to Siberia with, while walking through Green Park. Sat with Wayne and his parents, Katie, Deaks and Dave to watch the big screen, absorb the atmosphere and eat ice cream.

Watched a couple of cyclists live, but they went past pretty quickly and the crowds at the barrier were huge. I have some video which I will post when I figure out how.

The Above video kind've goes like this: road, road, road, road, vague applause, bikebikebike, louder applause, car, car, road, Kate fumbling with the camera. I don't know why SBS hasn't hired me as their girl on the ground.

Post Tour - went home, got changed, met up with Wayne and crew in Brick Lane for some Indian food where hte service was appalling, even by London standards. My favourite part was where they tried to give us dirty plates because they'd picked up the wrong pile. Deligthful. But it was a pretty fun night. The cool bit about Brick Lane is that in order to walk there you have to walk past the scene of some of Jack the Ripper's crimes, and the pub where 'Lock Stock' was shot. Just so you know.

DANIEL JOHNSTON (12th July)
Went and saw Ganiel Johnston play at Union Chapel in Islington last night. It was amazing. It is a real, live church.

And he was amazing. He was childlike and breakable. All I wanted to do was give him a big hug. He covered the Beatles (Hide Your Love Away) and he said he was going to make a joke, but last time he told it he got in trouble with his brother, mother and father and that since he only had two jokes, we'd have to wait. He was cute and mischeivious in his black and blue tracksuit. He was also remarkably confident and engaging.

His arms shook quite badly, and he was constanyl leaning on the mic - but it still blew your mind. After playing the first couple of songs on guitar/piano by himself, the muscial accompaniment was lef tto others. Much more muscial that way. And Daniel (weird familiarity) was able to concentrate of singing. He did a few songs with Neva Dinova which was awesome. I have quite a lot of video of this and if I figure out how to upload it, you can all enjoy my attempts to film and clap at the same time.

My favourite part of the evening? When he did his last song and he called it 'a wish for all of us' and then sung 'True Love Will Find You In The End'. It was pretty darned amazing. Even an old cynic like me was overwhlemed. Unsurprisingly, he got a standing ovation. He is such a dude. He looked so happy with himself through out the whole gig. He also said it was one of the best gigs they'd done this tour.

Incidentally, Marianne was meant to accompany me to this but she got stuck at work drinks (and by stuck, I mean drunk) and didn't make it. She should have scalped her 20 pound ticket for 50 quid, which is what the people on the sidewalk were willing to pay. Would have been worth every pent.

Anyway, this weekend I am resolved to do touristy things.

PS. Post writing all of htis, I have uploaded some stuff to YouTube so the I've added some video. I will upload DJ tomorrow as it is now 1.30am and I am tired beyond belief.

Peace Train

2007-06-29T14:18:00.001-07:00

Firstly - I am alive. Not that I wouldn't be, but I just want you to know that I definitely am.

For any of you who haven't been watching the news, there has been another terrorist 'incident' in London. Viable bombs were found in the West End and on Park Lane. Fortunately the police diffused the bombs and the only effect were some massive delays on the tube and station closures.

I can't say that I was scared, but it was an odd feeling getting on the tube this afternoon. The strange realisation that you were just there on a train and exceedingly vulnerable. It was all just so totally beyond my control. Yet apprehension quickly turned to aggravation and annoyance when I realised that I was going to have to wait 15 minutes for a train from Canary Wharf. And then because my Circle Line train was delayed.

But I can see that these 'bombs' fulfill their purpose. They undermine what you take for granted. They make you feel vulnerable where you live. For a moment. And then life goes on.

Went to the V&A Museum for the Late Night session - it was the opening of London Sing and was fabulous. There was a massive acapella choir who sung songs like 'Cry Me a River' (the JT version) and Music (Madonna). I went to musci workshops with an Indian singer and a Chinese opera singer. I sang into a tube and poured my voice out. it was so much fun - even though I can't sing to save my life. In choir in high school I used to have to sit next to louise Mcleod so I would have any chance of staying in tune. I also had to be a soprano, even though I'm really not, because they get the tune. Anything else was beyond me.

I think, however, my favourite part of the evening was when the giant, colourfully dressed choir stood in the foyer of the V&A and sung 'Let It Be'. Within moments there was a swell of voices echoing around the cavernous entry hall. Amazing.

I wish I was a Beatle. I wish I could have that kind of immortality. I wish wish that it went without saying that half a world could relate to something that I wrote on a whim.

It is 11 degrees in London and fairly disgusting. The country is literally flooding.

Also - Pete Doherty's name is not pronounced how I thought it was. He's also completely humourless. Don't take drugs kids. It makes you a boring asshole.

That's it.

As for the Drowsy Chaperone, I will save that for another day.

Peas in a Pod

2007-06-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

What do David Ritter and Tony Blair have in common?
Apart from their Labor Party membership cards, obviously.

Both made the Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss/Other joke. David in Legal History and Tony (he's not PM anymore so it is okay to use his first name, I am sure) in the House of Commons today during his last PMQ. The House thought it was hilarious and no one tried to make him feel guilty for saying it.

But, perhaps it would have been churlish given that he is now officially unemployed.

This post will only make sense to about 2 people, so I a will post tomorrow about seeing 'The Drowsy Chaperone'. Keep you on the edge of your seats and all that.

Brush Up Your Shakespeare

2007-06-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

Went to my school reunion for old girls in London on Tuesday night. An interesting experience which culminated in my drinking beers with Jenny Ethell (aka. the woman who 'restructured me out of existence' aka fired me) and Dot in an English pub. It was nice to catch up with Dot - she seems happy in the UK (while missing the Australian weather, but then, don't we all?)

The reunion was okay, the venue was really cute and, perhaps most importantly, I think I have acquired some useful coping skills for my 10 year reunion. It involves drinking more, stalking the food platters and hiding from Alethea, which is pretty much what I did this time around as well.

Friday night I went and saw 'Othello' at the Globe. We had 5 quid standing tickets and, of course, it rained. However, Marianne and I had got there early and were right in front of the stage which meant that we we slightly sheltered from the elements. Thankfully. However, the unfortunte by product of being so close to the action was that every time the actors came near me I thought I was going to get whacked in the head with the swords that were very loosely attached to their waists. I was ducking and weaving all night.

The play itself was awesome, and the role of Iago was played by Tim McInnery (of Blackadder fame - Percy, Capt Darling etc). It was weird to see him play the evil bad guy.

Now, I am not sure how many of you are familar with the ending of Othello, but in summary: Othello kills his wife who he believes to have been unfaithul, Iago murders his wife for dobbing him in about manipulating Othello's jealousy, and Othello kills himself out of guilt ('One that loved not wisely, but too well'). So - there are 3 characters lying dead on a bed in the middle of the stage (which I always thought was farcical, but now realise is for staging reasons).

So - after this very melodramatic final scene ('This heavy act with heavy heart relate') everyone is kind've drepressed. The acting was amazing, you really felt for Othello, the fake stage blood looked almost real. THEN the cast came back on stage and started DANCING!! Not in a sad mournful way, but in a very upbeat and perky way that was emotionally confusing.

Yesterday, I caught up with Amy Thornicroft, who we met when she was a Gap girl. We hung out at a cool Morroccan restuarant for a while and then spent some time on the South Bank. It was fanatastic to see her again and any time spent on the South Bank is time well spent if you ask me. Also - seeing a man with trained budgies who sang a song that went 'I'm the budgie man, bu-budgie man, budgie man, the bloody budgie man' and then tried to get employed as an entertainer at children's parties, was definitely a high point.

Saturday night we went to a restuarant near Tottenham Court Road where they kindly served us cocktails in jugs. THEN I went and picked up Carly at Paddington. This because my new rule states - if you can't make new English friends - import the old Australian ones! Incidentally - it seemed unfair that she looked quite as together as she did given the length of her flight and the fact she was suffering from the flu. I made her get on a night bus to get home (too much of apain to catch a cab on a Saturday night) and left her to sleep until 3pm this afternoon. I then dragged her around today to make sure she was properly equipped for London (Oyster card, A-Z, phone, flu medication) and as I write this she has fallen asleep again.

Such is the life of a new arrival in London.

A record store, a humble hole in the wall, could you ever want for more?

2007-06-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

Man, if possible, I had forgotten how much I loved record/CD stores. I haven't been inside a proper one since I left home and today I finally had time to go and check out the Rough Trade store near Portabello Road. STACKS of vinyl. Hundreds of 7" records, not too many CDs. And the constant vibe of being judged by everyone else in there - sale staff, customers, the guy who drops off the free papers.

I love the posters that have been up so long that they are beginning to peel off the walls, but somehow this makes the whole thing look more 'authentic'. Rough Trade is similar in vibe to downstairs Dada's - although not downstairs and possibly even more crowded. The staff have to bend underneath the sales bench to get out and look for anything. I managed to pull several CD's to the floor while trying to rescue the one I had dislodged. Eck.

And another thing - 7" cost about 2-2.50 pound. So damned cheap! Even with conversion that is about half the price that I pay at home. I barely managed to restrain myself. I settled for The Shins 'Australia' and Stars 'Your Ex-Lover Is Dead'. Because I had just bought new cons I couldn't quite justify the 5 pound for a Daniel Johnson single (and I thought I would try and pick up something of his when I see him later this month). I swear to God, the stuff in this store seems so extensive compared to Dada's (in 7" any way) that I was about to start selling body parts to indulge. It has also inspired me to go and seek other record stores. I'll let you knwo how that goes.

Went to 'Fifteen' for Alana's birthday lunch yesterday, which was just lovely. Really excellent food (as it was alst time) but at 50 pound a head, you wouldn't want to do this too often.

So I also bought new Cons. This is a picture of them:

It's nice to be back in cons again. I had been missing them since I left home. I wasn't quite sure what other shoes I should be wearing with jeans. And these shoes are pretty much my perfect fashion accessory. Especially given the fact that, despite being made in China (probably by child labour) they have Bono's endorsement because money goes to preventing malaria/typhoid/AIDS in Africa. See - Bono really cares about the African community.

Those little Chinese children can go f**k themselves.

I think I may still be on the wrong side of the ethical line with this purchase. I hate it when that happens. However, I still am still going to rant about the ethical incongruity here. Hypocrite, much? Shouldn't Bono and his ilk only be endorsing products that don't have a history of violating fair labour practices? Nike has long been accused of employing sweatshop labour so I don't know how they can justify partnering with them to produce thsi 'charitable' product.

Yet, again, I stil bought the damned shoes.

Moving on before I start getting really self-loathing for my ethical inconsistency (Bono and I could have a club).

For those of you who love High Fidelity and are in the need of a bit of a giggle, check this out. This is a link to one of the key songs in the new stage muscial version. The song is called 'The Last Real Record Store'. It all sounds so familiar, but is still so wrong.

http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/highfidelity/thelastrealrecordstore.htm

I don't think that Rob, Dick or Barry would have been huge fans of musical theatre.
And after seeing some of these lyrics and imagining the accompanying dance spectacular, I am not so sure I am either.

The Beauty of Days Gone By

2007-06-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

Summer is here and the weekend was beautiful!
Absolutely stunning. It was ALMOST 25 degrees and I was boiling hot. As I said to Jano, my already out of whack internal thermometer has gone completely off the rails.

Friday night I went to the Tate Modern with Marianne. She gets a lot of free tickets to things through her job, so we like to exploit that as much as possible. There is a Dali exhibiton on show at the moment which was amazing. His work has so much more depth when you look at it in real life. Despite most of his paintings being smaller than the ginormous prints that people stick on their college walls, blowing up the paintings somehow makes them LOSE detail, as well as any sense of intimacy that is evoked.

One of my favourites was called Solitude:

It was immensely sad but so minutely detailed as well.

We then went and saw Spellbound, the Hitchcock film being played at the Tate. Dali conceptualised the 3 minute dream sequence which was completely surreal (because he's a surrelaist - get it? PUN!).

It was a really lovely way to spend a Friday evening. As we walked along the SOuthbank to catch a train home, we were 'followed' by a barge on the river that was illuminated and had a massive choir on board singing to celebrate the new renovations of the Royal Festival Hall. It was a perfect London evening.

Saturday Marianne and I decided that we would brave the terrible American crowds at Stratford-Upon-Avon, about 2 hours from London. This should not be confused with Stratford without the Avon because this is a borough stuck on the end of the Northern Lin or DLR and should not be visited by anyone unless they want to part with their earthly possession.

Stratford-Upon-Avon was lovely, the Tudor houses were very cute and made me feel very tall. As you went to each site, the connection to Shakespeare became more and more tenuous and you had to just decide that you would just appreciate the 'vibe'. Couldn't find any really tacky souvenirs, because I didn't get a chance to go into the 'Shakesperience' building. No bobble headed Shakespeares to be had, I left souvenirless.

We also had to walk around in circles for a while because I am incapable of reading street signs. Thankfully, Marianne forgave me and eventually we go to Shakespeare's grave:

I'm not really sure it was worth it. The old graves outside with all the moss etc. on them were way cooler, in my humble opinion. And it cost 50p to get into the little bit where the grave actually was.

Sunday was spent eating cupcakes at Hummingbird Cafe and watching Ocean's 13. Tonight I am going to Wayne's house for dinner. He claims to be able to cook anything. We'll see.

And Rom - don't give up on your poor little car! Check to see if it can be redeemed before doing anything silly!

This is the sound of settling

2007-06-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

People claim that they are reading my blog. Never are these claims proved true in the comments section, because everyone claims to be too scared/embarassed/whatever to actually get in there and show me the love. So for a couple of weeks there I got disheartened.

But I am back. With more observations on the workplace and London in general.

Firstly, I would like to discuss chivalry. I am known as a feminist, but no woman is going to say no if a man lets her out of the lift first, or holds a door open for her. Men over here are quite chivalrous, especially in the business district where I work. BUT come home time, when we are all piling on the tube, any semblence of civility is disgarded. Everyone for themself. Man, woman, small child with terminal cancer, all will be crushed under foot in the quest for a seat, or positioning that will later allow you to get a seat. I have learnt to use my free paper to block other's ability to sit in what I would claim as 'my' seat. I even have strategies about where to stand in order to later claim a seat and an ever changing internal discussion about whether it is better to take a leaning position on a 'wall' seat and give up on teh chance of a real seat, or to angle for the chance.

I will lean if I can get the leaning position at the beginning of my trip or at the very end. Anything in the middle - it's all about elbowing my way into the infrequently vacated chairs (everyone gets off at the same stop on the Jubilee line in the morning. It doesn't really go anywhere else but here).

Also - I would now like to mention what I (not very kindly) refer to as Banker Sluts. Friday night is as popular for drinks here as it is at home. I work in Canary Wharf - no one really lives here, it is just full of law firms, banks, finance companies etc. You get the idea. Men and women in suits. So for Friday night drinks 'casual' really refers to the fact that people may have taken their jacket and tie off. Anyway, about 7:30pm women with fake tan, chronically straightened hair, tattoos and tops that show most of their bras (back and front) arrive at the bar. They look out of place and completely different from the other women there who are well groomed, but in work outfits.

Their aim is obvious - pick up a banker/lawyer/man in suit. It is so transparent. I was even moved to say so, saying that they were so obvious no man would fall for it.

I gave men too much credit. Within minutes they were surrounded. I've never seen anything like it. Please don't bother trying to yell at me about judging other women and their choices (I can see mum preparing the takl already). The whole thing made me feel so ill I could barely breathe. Sorry.

It's meant to be summer and today I was wearing a scarf and heavy jacket.

UK Big Brother has started and the house is full of girls (and one boy) who want to marry footballers. Not the boy, obviously. There is even a Posh Spice look alike. You know, because we don't actually hae to endure Posh Spice EVERY DAY without having look alikes.

Went to the Globe last night and saw The Merchant of Venice. It was tops. The acting was pretty amazing, and for only £5. Admittedly, we chose to stand, but it was fine. Except for the fact that we were so close to the actors you got spit on. Or, in the case of one unlucky girl, vomitted on. So yes, it was a supremely cultural experience.

Last weekend I went to the Portabello Road Markets (fairly regular occurence - it's so close) but went into some vintage stores I had never been into before. The prices almost killed me. I don't care how old a dress is, it is SECOND HAND and therefore shouldn't cost £500. I kid you not. Kate Moss shops there apparently. And Posh Spice. Eck. Was meant to go bowling that night, but even at 12pm the line was around the block. So Marianne and I went home. And I had another in a long line of public transport 'quirks'.

Should also mention that I saw Spamalot last week and it was hilarious (despite the fact that I was in the nosebleed section with the little binoculars that you hire for 50p). The Lady of the Lake had an amazing voice. Such a diva. Although hearing 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' out of context was a little bit of a shock to the system.

So, basically what I am trying to say is that I live here now. I have settled in to the London life and I socialise and go out and work and abuse the tube system and moan about the weather the same as anybody else. Even when I am still at work at 7pm or I arrive early to make my group smoothies (don't ask, it makes no sense to me either). I am organising a sailing trip to Croatia and I am desperately trying to stretch my money as far as it will go. It may not sound exciting, but I love it.

Although I am yet to find as many funny, interesting, intelligent, argumentative people in London as I ever found at home. This disappoints me considerably.

Heart Cooks Brain

2007-05-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

See, the thing about going to see Modest Mouse was that I only purchased my ticket 24 hours in advance. I ended up in a seat that was in line with the stage on a swivel chair about 20 meters from Johnny Marr. Oh yes, this was the luck of the disorganized. Marianne (De Leo) convinced me that I should go and I felt a bit guilty when I ended up having better seats than her and Lods.

Royal Albert Hall is pretty amazing. There are flying saucer shaped disks suspended from the roof for acoustics, but the place is huge and ornate.

To be honest, my only though once I was seated was – why do bands even bother going to Perth? You sell out a venue like RAH and I hate to think how much money you would make. It is ridiculous. And it isn’t like London is that far from anything else. A European tour would make so much more money than anything you could do in Australia. I have decided that bands that both to make the trip to the southern hemisphere must really love their fans.

But, that wasn’t the case for me. So I sat and watched Billy childish support (funny, weird, dressed like they escaped the First World War) and then the blistering Modest Mouse set. Acoustically, things were a bit off and I swear to God I couldn’t make out a single lyric the entire night. Or anything that they said when Isaac Brock or Johnny Marr decided on a bit of crowd interaction. As silly as it sounds, it didn’t really matter that much. The level of intensity was high and

Highlights included Float On (of course). Are You Dead Or Are You Sleeping?, Missed the Boat and Dashboard. I was also very enthused about seeing 2 drummers drum perfectly in sync. Nutty.

It was strange looking down on the crowd and seeing those with standing tickets jump up and down, smoke cigarettes seeing only the glowing orange ends and realizing that indie kids in Perth have WAY better dress sense. I’m not joking. The cool kids in Perth seem cooler than the cool kids in London. Or maybe the cool kids in London don’t go to Modest Mouse concerts. If that’s the case, they can’t be that cool.

Anyway, one of things I liked most about the evening was at the end when a couple of kids who were crowd surfing got dumped over the barrier. The bouncers got a bit rough with them and Isaac (while continuing to sing and play) yelled at and grabbed the bouncers to stop them from beating up the kids who clearly just wanted to be nearer the band. He had another go at the bouncers at the end of the concert as well. Very cool given the bouncers were just being unnecessarily rough and ridiculous. I hate it when bouncers turn nasty for no other reason than the fact that they can generally get away with manhandling whoever they want without any repercussions.

As the title would suggest, this was a pretty damned cool experience even though it wasn't perfect. Despite the sound issues being at RAH and seeing Johnny Marr from THE SMITHS and listening to a kick arse band rock out was pretty much as cool as it sounds.

And apparently, according tothe late night news, this is the week that celebrates the 30th Anniversary of the Sex Pistols singing 'God Save The Queen'.

Excellent.

If I'm not back in 5 minutes...wait longer!

2007-05-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

I started work today and there was an unexpected surprise waiting for me when I got there. On my desk there was what looked like a first aid kit, and I joked that I hoped this wasn't meant to indicate that I was a First Aid Officer.

I'm not. We all have them. They are Survival Packs. That is, if someone bombs our building, I am meant to pick up this survival pack and run down the stairs with it. Well, not run, the survival guidelines follows Hitchhikers' Rules (Don't Panic!) and tell me to walk in a quick, yet orderly, fashion. I suppose that if you are going to work for a large, American company it shouldn't come as a surprise that they feel they could be targets of a terrorist threat. Especially when the word ' America' features prominently in the company name.

However, on closer inspection it becomes obvious that my pack isn't so much suited to surviving a major disaster as launching a very tops Saturday night out.

Your Average BoA Survival Pack™ includes:

FM Auto Scan Radio – to hear all those pop hits while trapped under debris.
A glow stick – in case the radio lays down some wicked dance beats.
A Beam Ring – to create that party vibe with lasers.
Goggles – a necessity for any well dressed disaster survivor/raver
Drinking Water – everyone knows that you need to rehydrate when you're clubbing under the rubble.
Boiled lollies – I think my pack may be missing this. And no, I didn't already eat them.

So there you go. You may be fatally wounded and trapped beneath what used to be your desk, but you can still have a jolly good time. This is the kind of positivity I like in an employer.

You take a trip to the city lights, and take the long way home

2007-05-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had the longest, most hilarious trip back from Cambridge last night.
I missed the train from Cambridge, ended up at the wrong station, waited 25 minutes for the last Circle Line train, only to have it stop at Edgware Road, 3 stops shy of home.

THEN I got on a night bus the wrong way because I was chatting to an Australian girl I met and was distracted. Ended up at Mornington Crescent Station, where Ally (Australian Girl) and I met Jacko, the thong wearing, AFL playing, phys ed teacher from Victoria who very kindly asked us if we would like to go back to his house for a drink.

It was 2am. We politely declined.

Waited 35 minutes for teh next bus, only to have it be the same bus we got off but just heading back to where we came from.

Found a man on the bus who complimented us on our Australian accents and claimed to be a market trader. He had a Tweety Bird tattoo.

In other news - Mark's birthday party in Cambridge was great. A BBQ in a backyard in England? Who would have thought. Great night, I even met some actual English people! Cambridge was pretty and full of posh kids who looked stereotypically Oxbridge. It's a pretty town, lots of lawn and I briefly watched a game of cricket. And some punting, which seems to provide weekend employment for all Cambridge students who are willing to wear boat shoes and rugby jumpers.

That is all.

I'll read anything with a Daria picture in the header

2007-05-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed this.
http://tinymixtapes.com/Search-for-Acceptance

The Internet is for Porn

2007-05-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

Wow - getting a job has made me completely motivated to get out there and do tourist stuff on weekdays before it's too late and I have to join the American tourists on weekends. So - here is some of the cooler and more noteworthy stuff I have done this week.

Cheap Cocktails in Campden
This was a lot of fun - we didn't get royally sloshed or anything, but the cocktails were 2 for 1 and they were made properly by men who could put Tom Cruise in Cocktail to shame. They bounced glasses and bottles and threw things around. Then we shared an Oreo cookie cocktail and went for Thai food.

Equus
I went and saw Equus on Wednesday. It was fairly brilliant. For those of you who haevn't heard anything about it, it is the West End show with Daniel Radcliffe in it And Richard Griffiths for that matter. It was fairly intense - largely about psychiatry, adolescent disenfranchisement, sex, worship and passion. Sample quote:

Passion, you see, can be destroyed by a doctor. It cannot be created.

and again:

All right! The normal is the good smile in a child's eyes. There's also the dead stare in a million adults. It both sustains and kills, like a God. It is the ordinary made beautiful, it is also the average made lethal. Normal is the indispensable murderous God of health and I am his priest.

It was intense from beginning to end and Daniel Radcliffe did an amazing job - especially given he really is only 17 and the role was very demanding. And yes, he does get naked for quite a long time, but it isn't so much 'My God! Harry Potter is naked' but more 'That poor boy. His life is so monumentally fucked'.

The horse costumes were amazing as well. Giant metal contraptions that slipped over actors heads. They wandered around upright on 'horseshoes' that were metal platforms about 15cm high. Utterly stunning. Even the poster blew my mind, though perhaps it only gains its impact from seeing the play.

National Portrait Gallery
There are only so many paintings of pictures of people in neck ruffs any girl can handle. Fortunately, the Tudor monarchs (and friends) were balanced nicely by the Face of Fashion exhibition where there were a lot of naked photos of Kate Moss. I don't know if that's better, but at least there were no ruffs that were eerily reminiscent of year 12 production at Perth College.

My favourite picture from the Fashion exhibition was surprising, given that it was of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, neither of whom I particularly love. Yet the bored suburbia that the picture evoked, as well as the colours, was amazing when it was blown up and took up nearly a whole wall.

The exhibition of Tony Blair at war (black and white photography) was also really powerful and intimate. He is a photogenic man and, more than anything, the exhibition really showed a thoughtful Prime Minister who believed in what he was doing. It was also strange seeing photos of him battling his parliamentary collegues over supporting the US at war. Given that this was a war I don't particulalry support, I was surprised at the degree of empathy I felt, looking at these photos, for a man who was forced to make a difficult decision. (Don't bother posting political argument Jon - I am talking about the ART. The argument as to whether that can ever be divorced from context can be discussed another time. Yet, now I remember that you're working at the Defence Department I realise you probably relate quite well to Mr Blair's predicament).

Anyway, the gallery is amazing. If you like looking at pictures of people. The way some artists capture the essence of their subject is eerie. It's not all lighting and props, it is just the skill of showing what someone is really like on film or in ink/paint.

Avenue Q
This is not traditional West End theatre. There are puppets. There is puppet sex (not quite as graphic as Team America but I was in row C - very close to the puppet sex, so it was much more disturbing). It was absolutely hilarious - as in I was laughing out loud for the whole first act and most of the second. I may see it again.

Song titles include 'The Internet Is For Porn', 'Everyone's A Little Bit Racist Sometimes' and 'What Do You Do With A BA in English?'. Sample lyrics include:

I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!"

from the song 'I Wish I Could Go Back To College'. It was eerily accurate. Other gems include:

NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?

GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

NICKY:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!

Anyway, it was funny. I went with Wayne and Katie. We ate dinner in China Town and went for drinks afterwards.

And for all you Buffy/Angel/Little Britain fans: I bumped into Anthony Head as I was turning a corner. He'd just finished Spamalot for the night. He is very tall.

Pete Doherty's Art Exhibition at Bankrobber Gallery
I just got back from this. It is the biggest load of self-indulgent, self-obsessed nothing that I have seen to date. And I have been going to quite a few galleries. All the paintings involved him in some way and were smeared with his blood or had needles and tea spoons glued to them. They had very little artistic merit to my mind. It was an attempt to recreate the anarchist punk art of the 70's without the anger, the immediacy or the talent. Destroyed UK flags as an artistic statement surely died with the Sex Pistols, who did it better. Example:

All I am saying is that it is a good thing the boy is dating Kate Moss or he would haev drifted into drug fuelled obscurity. I say this as a big Libertines fan.

The best bit about the whole thing was the cupcake I bought at Hummingbird Bakery (best bakery in the world) on the way there.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say for now. I spent today shopping for work clothes and crying every time I had to buy something pointless and practical when I could have been buying cool, colourful things.

Back on the Chain Gang

2007-05-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

Hello Dear Readers

I would like to announce that I am now gainfully employed. Yes. Me. The person who for the last couple of months has done nothing but look at churches, galleries etc. has a job. Actually, I was offered a couple of jobs and, not being a person who really likes decisions, this almost caused me to stop breathing. Anyway - the end result. I will be working for (drum roll please)...

Bank of America.
As a paralegal.
In their liquid products division.
Fo anyone who was there during my commerce degree, this will come as a surprise.

It paid too much for me to not take it, even though the Partner at Clifford Chance knew HEAPS about Asterix, Bob Dylan and Eminem. He was so interesting. I think I am going to like being a lawyer. But I couldn't assume that everyday would be discussing illusions to 'The Odyssey' in Asterix. Ah well.

I shall excerpt the most embarassing part of the interview now:

Him: How do you feel about country sports?
Me: You mean like hockey? I lived in the country and played sports. Is that what you mean?
Him: I meant things like pheasent shooting.
Me: And fox hunting?
Him: Yes.
Me: (realising this was not a good time to bring up 7 years of vegetarianism, an aversion to blood sports and not realy being that sporty in general) I grew up in the country. I'm used to it.

Playing the country card. Classic.

Different worlds. Country sports? Man, pheasent shooting was so beyond what would ever enter my mind.

Anyway, hopefully I will start on Monday. And the pounds will roll in and I can Live the London Life. Yay!

Except for I just figured out how much tax I will be paying. So less of the London Life than expected.

But I was never contractually obliged to sleep with foreign businessmen, alright? And that is not nothing, that is something.

2007-05-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

I have a room in a house. And no, I am not obliged to sleep with foreign businessmen which was basically the only pre-requisite I ended up having in the London housing market.

My room is small, but it is mine. It looks like this:

If you tilt your head you will notice the big window in my room and if you put your head really close to the screen you will see the charming white doona with flowers embroidered in it.

This is the lounge room:

And this is the kitchen:

The house is on quiet street, but is 100 meters from Kensington High Street. It's kind've like living in Highgate but bigger. 5 minute walk from 2 cinemas (one arthouse, one mainstream), grocery stores, tube station, vintage clothes stores and Portobello Rd Markets and 10 minutes walk to Hyde Park. Great location.

Living with a girl called Rebecca who is just lovely and is a New York native. She has the Black Books boxset, Bill Bailey on DVD and a copy of Withnail & I. As well as The Merchant of Venice (Al Pacino verion). So, a woman of excellent taste.

Not much else to report. Except that this morning I went to Primark and stood in a queue for a change room for 30 minutes. for 28 pounds I bought 6 pairs of socks, two pairs of tights, a jumper, a dress top, a work top and a skirt. Loving Primark. It is the only way I am going to be able to afford to clothe myself in London.

Also - if anyone can tell me how to rotate these photos - please comment and let me know. It's as annoying to me as it is for everybody else, I assure you! Also Rom - please note that I am blogging on a Tuesday for your distraction.

xxx

A coward you are, Withnail. An expert on bulls you are not.

2007-05-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Trying to think what I had done when I last posted. I suppose now would be as good a time as any to summarise the rest of my trip to Barcelona. Wet. Except the one beautiful day that allowed me to go to a flea market, Park Guell and go for a trip on a boat.

Boat ride was lovely. Had a jazz saxophonist playing and glasses of Sangria for only 1 Euro. Not so bad.

Park Guell was unexpected - not much green grass for a park, but architecturally it was amazing. In my next life I want gaudi to design my house.

Flea market was annoying. Way too much crap to be enthusiastic about sorting through.

Anyway, my last day in Barcelona was a public holiday so nothing was open and it was raining so I ended up going to watch 2 American movies with the Canadian girls. Then that nightwe went out and I got very drunk along the port and struggled to get out of bed the next day to check out and get on the plane. I say again - those free shots are killer.

Back in the UK and started doing more job interviews. One of them asked me if I knew how to use a Macintosh and I have started to miss my laptop in a really nerdy way.

Last night I went to a party at my new flat (where I was meant to move in today but this has been postponed until tomorrow). It was a really lovely night and I met some really cool people. All of whom seem far more educated than I am.

Today I have cleaned Ben and Wayne's flat (they are both away) and packed all my stuff. Hopefully I will be out of here by early tomorrow morning.

Oh - and this photo is for Rom. It's from the market in Barcelona:

Almost forgot - yesterday I went to Windsor Castle and did the touristy thing in England, which I haven't done that much of so far. It was cold and grey and miserable and the castle was full of glorious art, armour and history. I had a really lovely day out there with Katie and Anthony and it included a traditional English pub lunch, including, for me, a glass of Pimms.

Gotta love those castles. Pronounced cassles for all of those born and raised in England.

xxx

You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona.

2007-04-29T02:30:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

Greetings from not so sunny Barcelona. Thanks to my travel agent who suggested that I bring bathers. They would be so useful at the moment, given they are the only thing that I wuld have that was appropriate to get wet.

Anyway, enought about the all too expected European weather.

So far I have seen the following museums:
1. The Picasso Museum - cool and very well set out to show his development as an artist.
2. Gaudi Museum - he made quite awesome houses and I can´t believe that anyone let him build what he wanted to build 100 years ago.
3. The Monserrat Museum
4. The Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art

The MACBA was AMAZING. There was a sound installation called The Killing Machine by 2 American artists. The Killing Machine itself was based on a Kafka story about capital punishment and it was really intense. The other displays were also really interesting. Essentially, through sound, they displaced the emotion that was evoked by the vidual images that were built or projected. It was really clever and well constructed. What was also cool was, because the gallery was close to a uni, the students used the steps as a communal meeting place. It was pretty cool to see them all congregate there. I don´t know if I would trade it for the Oak Lawn, but imagine learning among all that culture!

Yesterday I made a rookie mistake. I went on a bus trip to see some caves and Monserrat, a cathedral in the mountains about an hour from Barcelona. Imagine my surprise when we didn´t get to see any caves because ´caves´ in Spanish is actually the equivalent of sparkling wine and I ended up on a tour of a wine cellar with a tour guide conducting proceedings in Spanish because our tour person assumed I spoke Spanish and went to the international language school. Anyway, you got to see huge amounts of caves (see, it looks like you´re going to a cave, but you aren´t) and got a free glass at the end. It was 11am and we were on out way to a monestary. Yay Spain!

Monserrat was beautiful and would have been more so if it wasn´t raining and I could actually have got down to the Sacred Cave. Ah well. The view was stunning, if a little cloudy, and the church was divine. I dutifully joined the queue for the black Madonna and then wandered around the free parts of the museum before climbing come of the hill. Then it started raining again and we went home.

Last night I went bar hopping with some Canadian girls I met in my room. It helps getting free drinks if you are a group of girls, led by a California blonde, in a male dominated area. I have never got so many free shots in my life. Unfortunately, I couldn´t tell if I was being mugged or groped half the evening which was a bit disconcerting. Given I arrived home with all my stuff, I am going to assume the latter which is just plain gross.

I am meeting a lot of people - not lonely at all! Had dinner with an English boy the other night and always seem to be able to find people to chat to. Yay!

Anyway, I still have a lot to see and waiting for a fine day no longer apepars to be an option. I´m going to brave the rain!

Abbey Road

2007-04-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

After living within 10 minutes walk of Abbey Road for the last 3 weeks, I finally made it there a few days ago. It was a bit strange. Once I was there, I was kind've unsure what to do. There were cars on the road so walking on the cross walk was out of the question. The studios were emptying because it was 1pm and it appears that musicians also like to eat lunch on schedule.

It was cool, but underwhelming. I think I took pictures of the wrong crosswalk. I think the best bit of the entire thing was the wall that people put their Beatles comments on. Apparently it gets painted over every week. I couldn't write a comment because all I had was a ball point pen and that was never going to work.

I wandered around for a little bit and tried to pick the angle of the photo by comparing the landscape to the album cover on my iPod. A lot of things have changed since the Beatles were there. Then I walked home. I think that sometimes it's better to just imagine things in your mind. It just seemed so suburban and middle class. Weird.

Also, I can't rotate photos because I am hopeless. There are better photos on flickr.

West End Girl

2007-04-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

Alright. I haven't beaten Steph's record of 5 West End shows in 2 weeks. Instead, I have done 4 shows in 4 days. I reckon for sheer committment to the cause I am winning!

So - I saw 'Wicked' on Monday night and it was AWESOME!!! People, it was excellent. The scenery, the songs, the costumes, the set, Adam Garcia in white pants (West Wing fans - Kristen Chenoweth originated the good witch role on Broadway). It was fabulous. In a really girly way. It probably was for girls, but then I am a girl so I don't need to justify my enjoyment of it. It was so pretty! It was also nice to see a musical where I didn't know all the songs and wasn't tempted to burst out into a duet with the leading actress.

Tuesday I saw '39 Steps' which was a 1935 Hitchock film. It doesn't miss any of the film's scenes. It has 139 characters in it. The play had a cast of 4. One guy was the same character the whole way through. The girl played only 3 characters. The other two guys were very busy. And hilarious. It was a really funny play. It was made more amusing by the fact that it was a matinee and we were surrounded by children and grandparents. It only cost 12 pounds. Loving the student discount. We also went to an American theme pub for lunch (Cheers anyone?) which was funny in and of itself.

Wednesday I went and saw 'Little Shop of Horrors' which was FANTASTIC and one of the girls in the 'Greek Chorus' looked EXACTLY like Suza. They even had the same mannerisms which freaked me out slightly. It was really funny though - and the songs do what musical songs do - make you want to sing along and stay with you afterwards. The puppet plant was pretty intense as well. It was also made more amusing by the fact that I went to it with Fleur and Wayne. Fleur is a dentist. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the plot of 'Little Shop' but while the concept of sadistic dentists is funny, watching a dentist watch a sadistic dentist is even funnier!

Billy Elliott today. The little kid was amazing. As was the giant puppet of Margaret Thatcher. Didn't like the songs much (apologies to Elton John who wrote the score). I didn't like it as much as the movie and the theatre seats were built for people under 5 foot tall. I don't know - people seemed to love it. maybe I am OD'ing on theatre (unlikley) or it just didn't resonate with me. Except the Maggie T puppet.

In addition, today I did the Lords tour - and you could see how much the ground sloped!! It was nuts. It's like 2m different from one end to the other. We also stood in the away team dressing room. It was teeny tiny, with no showers and only one small TV. The balcony was lovely. Apparently, if players want to have a shower they have to run the gauntlet of spectators etc. It's even worse for the English players. In general though, the ground is very sweet and quite English. Except the new media tower, which I liked but many don't. I also saw the Urn which was smaller than I thought it would be. I now know heaps about cricket and resisted the urge to buy a paperweight with part of the Lords outfield inside it.

On Tuesday night I went with Fleur, Maree, Gemme, Jaye and Fiona to Jamie Oliver's Fifteen restaurant. It was excellent food, we drank some nice wine and some good bubbly. I paid for it with my V-train rebate. All in all, a very nice, casual night with good food and good company. The cheesecake was divine. So was the Cod.

Tonight I went and looked at another flat. I think the search is going okay. The flat tonight was really cute. Small bedroom - but I am beginning to expect this of London.

Anyway, next week I want to see 'Sound of Music', 'Les Mis', 'Mary Poppins', 'The Lion King' and 'Spamalot'. Or maybe I will space them out a little more. I'm here for a while yet.

Wayne and Ben rock!

Step Into My Office Baby

2007-04-16T01:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the job hunt has commenced and continues.

I have decided that I want to be a legal seretary. It's what every girl dreams of growing up. In order to be a legal secretary, I have registered with an agency. They in turn have to be able to show that I can spell and type, so on Thursday I sat through 5 hours of computer testing, spelling tests and proof reading tests. Not that I minded, as there's no other way they could tell that I was capable of spelling basic words. EXCEPT perhaps by noticing that I have TWO DEGREES and and A for English Literature in TEE (yes, they asked).

Had a very busy weekend. Drank a lot on Friday (enough to go to a cheesy 80's club where I had quite a lot of fun) and woke up hangover free on Saturday. Wayne muttered something about me being too young to understand and left to go to the Borough Markets tp find brownies. I went to Portabello Road with Katie to look at loud American Tourists and eat yummy cupcakes whie dodging traffic. Also went to the travel book shop from Notting Hill which was really cute. And unbelievably small. I don't know where they put the camera.

THEN went out to Clapham and sat on the ginormous common that they have out there. Temperature was over 20 degrees, so obviously there were a lot of half naked English people showing off their white skin. I wasn't, but it was a gorgeous day.

Saturday night we went to Peter's birthday party at a cool pub in Angel. Very cool music. Evening ended standing in the street whil Me, Raj, Ben and Felur ate kebabs and Wayne very nicely held onto the chips so we had free hands to make use of our 'wrapped' kebabs.

Had a BBQ had Wayne and Ben's house yesterday. They have access to their roof (very cool, awesome view) and I managed to burn the sausages. I don't know I could possibly have been left in charge, even for a moment.

Then last night we went for a walk along Waterloo Bridge at sunset and for a stroll down the South Bank. The weather here is great at the moment. So everything seems really happy and people are in good spririts.

Today, the job and house hunt continues...

London Still

2007-04-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Imperial War Museum today.
In retrospect, it was foolish to do the 'Crimes Against Humanity' exhibition and the Holocaust exhibition back to back. Emotionally draining, to say the least. I may have sobbed through some of it. Actually, the whole 5 hours I was there I felt guilty if I made any noise.

Yesterday - went to a Walkabout to watch the cricket. Didn't take me long to walk into an 'aussie' hangout. Australia's batting innings was a little boring (sorry folks) but the result was pleasing and expected. Wayne and I left straight after we won, and I think people thought we were British and sulking. Actually, we were catching a bus.

Had spent the day looking in the park and walking through town. Just lovely! I can't believe it is so warm here! When I say warm, I am still wearing thermals. The English are quite excited.

Not much else to report. Still having a good time. Catching up with V-train people tonight. Almost getting the Tube under control. You know, the usual.

Hope everyone had a good Easter with lots of chocolate. I am trying to resist all the cheap chocolate bars over here!

London Calling

2007-04-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know when I last went a day without drinking anything. It's a blur.
Been meeting some lovely people and staying with some great guys - Ben and Wayne - who are friends of Jane's. Wayne is introducing me to lots of people and generally being a tops bloke.

In London.
Changing of the guard overrated.
Buckingham Palace entirely too brown.
Hyde Park Lovely.
Went and saw The Boat Race today. Massive crowds. I was at the starting line, so watched most of the race on the Big Screen. Cambridge won. I love rowing. As long as I never have to do it.

Peace and Love.

Rumour In st Petersburg

2007-04-04T02:28:00.000-07:00

Russia. It's awesome. And beautiful.
St petersburg was just lovely - even their Palace Square beat Tianamen in straight up attractiveness.

Arrived in St Petersburg early Sunday morning. Another small hostel snafou, although it was dealt with. Went to the Hermitage almost immediately where students can get in for FREE. Yes, free. And you get to see the most fabulous art and the most fabulous building.

Although the coat check lady and our guide got into an argument and we had to stand in line for ages to check our coats - you have to wait for people to leave in order to use their hook. More annoying because there were HEAPS of hooks that they hadn't put numbers on. After all this, our guide just looked at me and said "In Russia, we have a saying. Never argue with Babooshkas". Sounds about right to me.

In some ways, the Hermitage was overwhelming. You walk into each room and the room itself is gorgeous and ornate. If you forget to look up you miss half of what makes it so spectacular. It's also a bit strange because every time I think that someone built the Winter Palace/Hermitage etc to live in, it makes me really angry. It's too much.

The art was amazing. Once I found a map (even though it was in Cyrillic) I managed to negotiate my way around some of the art, rather than just going in circles. I loved the Matisse, the Van Gough, the Cezanne etc. I didn't really like the exhibition on Alexander the Great and after a while I was going to pull my hair out from frustration at the paintings of rural life by Dutch painters. I got stuck going around in that circle for a while.

That night, we headed to a fairly cool restaurant, where the funniest night of my eating in a restaurant ensued. We order 2 beef stroganoffs, 2 pork things and 5 chicken things for our table. The woman comes back about 20 minutes later. They have no pork things left. So everyone who had pork changes to the alternative they offered - chicken kiev. Great. Sorted. Not so much. She comes back out. They have no beef stroganoff left. eyebrows raised. People change to chicken kiev. THEN she comes back out and says that they only have 2 serves of beef strog left and 3 chicken kievs. And nothing else. So only half of us ate. I've never been to a restaurant before where they ran out of food before. Headed to a student cafe for a very cheap meal afterwards.

Then went out to a RUSSIAN ROCKABILLY CLUB. I kid you not people, there were Russian men with mullets, surrounded my confederate flags rocking their little suede shoes off. It was hilarious and appalling. The club was called 'Money Honey' and it was here that we made strange Ukrainian friends.

Shout out to the girls I danced to 'I Will Survive' in st Petersburg. And I did the damned Macarena which the Russian women appeared to be scarily good at. Skye and I left at about 3am, after which Dave almost managed to get himself into trouble - he broke a glass and security wanted to charge him 200 roubles for it. He said no, the Ukrainians stepped in (we had previously ascertained they were fans of street fighting) and a situation was only just narrowly avoided.

Monday - checked out the Cathedral of Peter and Paul. Until they hd finished this fort, the slaves building St Petersburg were under constant threat of wolf attack, even during the day and even in groups. Saw the tomb of Peter the Great.

Church of the Spilt Blood very cool - modelled on St Basils. It was erected when, after an assassination attempt, Alexander II (I believe) was mortally wounded here - he lost his legs in an assassination attempt, but continued to make a moving speech once he was wounded. Russian history rocks. Wolves and legless speeches.

Headed to dinner at 5pm (don't ask) which was on Vodkatrain because of the Moscow accommodation debacle. Went to a cool place called Zoom where the food was delicious and our table scored a fee $40 bottle of wine because we had to wait a little longer than usual. Not that we minded. It was still early.

Walked around the city for a while looking at statues and parks - just beautiful. Then headed to a student bar where we drank Vodka Shots in celebration of our trip and made friends with Russian students. Got in a cab, went to a nightclub, stayed out til the early hours until Will and Charlie decided that the girls were so young looking it was weird.

Got a kebab on the way home.

Got up early next morning to catch a plane. Fell asleep at the airport, on the plane and dozed on the Tube to Paddington.

I am in London, people. And Flickr has photos.

Contact In Red Square

2007-03-31T05:04:00.000-07:00

Who would win in a Tianamen Square v Red Square showdown? For those of you who have been wondering, the answer is firmly Red Square which is freakin awesome!!!

Yes people. I am in Moscow. Where is is sunny, warm and beautiful. I kid you not. I am wandering around in jeans and a hoodie. Very similar attire to our indie rock loving, lead guitarist Honcho on this leg of the tour. He's cool. He gave me a badge.

Anyway - I have many stories to regale you all with. Except Mum and Dad. Tune out now. Seriously.

STORY ONE
The train to get from Irkutsk to Moscow took 4 days. Yes people, 4 days on a train. Interesting. I am tempted to write a long and stream of conciousness piece about finding your essence when gazing into a Siberian wilderness and feeling the timelessness of the landscape and the harshness of the winter. Instead, I think I'll go straight to the Vodka.

We went to the dining carriage for dinner on night 2 of our trip after I asserted firmly and loudly that I would not be eating another pot noodle (especially since I accidentally bought Chilli noodles because I can't read Cyrillic). So Matt, Claire, Soey (not a typo) and I went to the dinign cart. Everythign was going swimmingly.

Until the two Russians at the next table bought us a bottle of vodka. The waitress arrived with it, pointed at them and they raised their vodka (shot) glasses at us in salute. 10 minutes later the whole bottle was gone. You can't refuse because it is seen as excessively impolite. I think they just wanted to see how funny it would be to get the Australians drunk. Anyway, we were all good. It was only 4 shots. Then the Russians got up to have a smoke. Just as we were about to leave, the waitress arrived at the table. The Russians had bought us another bottle of vodka. We considered escaping but instead, we stayed, did one shot and headed back to our carriage for the Quiz Adam had made.

My cabin won the quiz (of course).

BUT THEN we may have had a few more drinks. I ended up in a random cabin with 4 German boys and 2 Russians eating dried fish on a skewer. Which they added an excessive amount of salt to even though it was SALTED fish. And the German's names were things like Klaus and Wolfgang which I found to be hilarious.

That's not all. Peter (Irish lad) has a rather booming voice and was more than a little drunk. So it wasn't all that much of a surprise when the train police arrived to quieten everyone down. But more specifically, quiten Peter down. He was a hairs breadth from handcuffs and being abandoned at the nearest platform. I kid you not.

STORY TWO
This is really the story of two nights in Moscow. I have had a combined total of 6 hours sleep over the two nights. The night we got here there was a disaster with the hotel. Total disaster. They're still building the damned thing. I've got photos. People are sleeping on the floor. I am sharing a double bed with Sue.

Anyway. What does one do in these situations? Drink.

We went to this really cool bar that was underneath red square. It was a basement with graffiti scrawled everwhere and it looked a bit like a bunker. We sat there and drank vodka shots and cheap beer until 2am until we decided that the best possible thing we could do was to head to a club. We negotiated a fare with a passing cab driver (200 roubles or about 10 AUD) and spent the rest of the night listening to Michael Jackson in an almost abandoned hotel/club thing.

THEN last night, after a day of sight seeing(Kremlin = Awesome, Red Square is amazing) we went to the Bolshoi Ballet which was AMAZING. SO beautiful. It was a Soviet piece that celebrated farming and the arts etc. I really couldn't believe that I was drinking champagne (the 200 Rouble excessively sweet glass, not the 1600 rouble Moet) at the Bolshoi theatre. It blew my mind.

Headed back to the hostel, went to a pub called the Elephant where they gave us free nachos and bowls of snacks because we are such beautiful people. Then we decided to head out. We had met a Scotsman called David and he arrived with the girl from the hostel just before the bar closed. So we all got into cabs and headed to a place called Cult. I went with David and the Russian but our cabdriver got lost. I was worried I would never find my group again. Fortunately, Peter is 6 foot 5 and I found him out the window while we were driving past.

Cult was fun - more a pub than club. That was where we made the fatal mistake. We headed to a nightclub called 'Sorry Babooshka'. Which was an all out nightclub. The boys loved it because Moscow women seem to be genetically engineered to be gorgeous. I rolled my eyes.

At 5am Matt, Dave, Noel, Peter and I decided to leave (Will and Charlie stayed on to go to Propaganda which had been our original destination). In order to get back to the hostel, we entered into negotiations with an unlicesed cab driver who agreed to take us home for 500 roubles. All 5 of us. It turned out his car was older than Rom's, possible smaller and in worse condition. I spent the whole drive back with Dave's arse in my face. Delightful.

If you asked me 3 months ago if I would have got into an unlicensed Russian cab completely drunk and tired I would have said no. I still don't think it was the best idea in the world. But it was funny. And we were desperate. Sarah - pick mum up off the floor and tell her to calm down. I am fine.

STORY THREE
I don't want anyone to think I am just drinking my way across 3 countries and 2 continents. The things we are seeing are awe inspiring. This morning we went and saw Lenin's tomb. The guards grumbled at us for having our hands in our pockets. There were military trucks in Red Square. There were soldiers everywhere. And Lenin looked small and insignificant and waxy and eerily familiar. Apparently he wanted to be buried next to his Mother in St Petersburg. I think perhaps it is time to let that happen (apparently it costs a million dollars a year to keep him refrigerated etc). The Metro system here is also amazing and needs to be seen to be believed. It is deep underground, made of marble and totally ornate. There are chandeliers in the trains stations!

And today I went to the flea market on the outskirts of Moscow and bought a Chess set from a man who let me negotiate a discount if I gave him my one and only Australian coin - a $1. He was lovely.

Other things of interst:
Mullets are everywhere in moscow.
Vodka is cheap.
The McDonalds we went too was meant to be the biggest but I think busiest might be more accurate.

But Baby It's Cold Outside...

2007-03-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

I am in Siberia (Irkutsk) and it is snowing!!! Well, it was yesterday. Today it is just cold.

Back to Mongolia for a moment. You know how I mentioned that I went and saw a Mongolian band? Well, I later met the band and got a signed CD. You can be a groupie in any country. BUT only in Mongolia can you meet the band on a street corner, buy the CD out of a pram and have to be quick about it because a band member was actually on the way to thh hospital.

Russian border crossing wasn't too painful - about 7 hours. The scariest/funniest bit was when we got off the train and we were literally the only carriage there. Just perched on the railway. By ourselves. Anyway, we got our passports back from the customs officials and roamed the town. Surreal moment when, on a concrete wall in graffiti, there was a massive lot of spray painitn gthat said 'Kurt Cobain: Nirvana". Weird. Also found crazy Russian pastries thanks to Skye's nose for baked goods. I fed some of mine to a starving dog on the station platform.

Back on the train, drank Vodka and played word association games. Arrived in Irtkusk on the 24th (I think) and went out to Lake Baikal. We stayed in this AMAZING Swiss chalet style cabin with a wonderful view.

Went out to walk on Lake Baikal - I managed not to go arse up but I wasn't as keen as sliding on it as the boys. We did have a snowball fight though. I also dipped my hand in the water, which according to legend will give me a year extra life. Will and Pete actually fell in an we decided that for two hands and two feet that was 6 years extra life.

Then I went DOG SLEDDING. I actually stood on the back of a sled with dogs that pulled it. Apparently the smart ones are up the front and the brawny ones are up the back. It was absolutely freezing but sublime. I was a bit nervous when the dog handler said 'Stand like you are skiing and bend like you do when you ski." I wanted to yell "It was 40 degrees when I left home and this is only the second time I've seen snow. What do I knwo about skiing?" but by then we were moving. I managed to stay on - Adam and Matt both fell off a couple of times on their go so I felt a little smug.

Woke up yesterday and it was SNOWING!!! Opted to avoid hiking and instead tried out a local pastry shop and went to the market. And Daylight saving time started. I am losing all this time and not getting it back! Then in the late afternoon we had the most awesome sauna. 2 hours worth. We even did the hitting each other with birch branches thing. You get so hot and then rub yourself with snow. Brilliant! On the down side, the sheets were were wearing were kinda see through. Hmmmmm....

Next up is 4 days on the train which we are all pretty psyched for. At least there are no more annoying customs checks in the wee hours of the morning.

I can't wait to post some photos - probably won't be until London though. Sorry. You'll juts have to put up with all my boring writing a bit longer.

From Russia with Love.

PS. Sarah M - you totally know you're getting ripped off when the saleswoman says to your friend "You friend is good at bargaining". BUT I really couldn't get het up over what is essentially $2. Bought a couple of cool necklaces though. And I am loving the big red sunglasses I've got.

PPS. Paying real prices for things now which is annoying. Exceot for Vodka and beer which is still dead cheap.

The Beer I Had For Breakfast

2007-03-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

We left Beijing on the 17th of March. What is the 17th of March? St Patrick's Day. Do we have Irish people on tour with us? Yes we do. So you can imagine how the first 30 hours on a train went. I have learnt some new drinking games.

The train carriages looked like my grandmother had been given an unlimited budget to decorate with. It was all paisley and floral. Just delightful. I can't wait to post pictures.

Would you believe I arrived in Mongolia on Mongolian Men's day? I only got off the train after I was assured that there was a Mongolian Woman's day that was equally as important and celebrated.

Arrived in Mongolia to the most awesome honcho - her name is Toya. Went and saw a traditional Mongolian Theatre presentation (for tourists) and can I just say...Traditional Mongolian folk singing is the BOMB! They restrict their throat and make this vibrating sound...Gene or Coup you really need to get a sample of it for your next recording.

Later, we went to a restaurant where is cost $2 for a litre of beer (really good too) and watched a Mongolian band - apparently the next big thing in Ulanbataar. They were actually really good. They used all the instruments from the folk show but where the traditional instruments had sculptures of horses and birds on them, this rock band had skulls and painted them black! Very rock and roll!

Just got back from Ger camp - stayed there 3 nights, sharing a ger with Skye (a teacher from Melbourne) and Peter and Noel (the Irish lads). Ger camp was completely awesome. Nice tents (heated to about 32 degrees which was a bit excessive) and you looked out your door to an amazing view of snow covered mountains. Had a few snowball fights, but teh snow is now starting to melt (how, I have no idea, as it is still completely freezing).

Interesting moment came one evening in the dinner Ger when we were playing 'I have never' and Toya decided that her 'I have never' was 'I have never been a prostitute." I'm not sure if that was a lost in transalation moment or she just hadn't understood the game... either way, no one stood up to drink.

Went horseriding over frozen lakes and through forrest. Like being in Narnia. Although the horses were quite small and mine was a bit unco. Visited a Nomad family who I gave my Aboriginal dot painitng playing cards to as a gift. I don't think they were impressed. I think they liked the cigarettes and chocolates others gave better. I was just trying for a bit of inter-cultural bonding! And their tea wasn't very nice anyway. Now I have no cards for the train. Woe is me.

Also - Geghis Kahn? Prnounced Chen-gis. And he is everywhere. He has a massive square with a massive statue. Every street and building is named after him and I am lugging a bottle of Chenggis vodka around. Chenggis, Chenggis, Chenggis. I am so pleased I wasn't his younger sibling. Imagine having that to live up to.

Heading into Russia tonight. 2 nights on the train before we reach Irkutsk. Apparently the boarder crossing comes complete with its own machine guns. Something to look forward to. The lady on the Mongolian Border crossing was a total dominatrix - short skirt, knee high black boots and pink lipstick. With an army uniform. Noice.

Speaking of heels - both here and in China the women seems to be stuck in stilleto heels. I can barely stay upright in a pair of Docs yet they totter around on ice like they are wearing a pair of cricket spikes. And I still feel really tall.

Going for Mongolian BBQ tonight. We'll see how that goes.

They just started playing ABBA in the internet cafe. I think that is either a sign to get drunk or to leave the building.

There Are 5 Million Bicycles in Beijing...

2007-03-16T02:39:00.001-07:00

And I swear I've encountered half of them.
It has also taken me 15 minutes to figure out hose to post because everything is written in Chinese. Ah Well. Also - I will post pictures later. I will never be as good at this as Gene et al.

Day One -
Could be summed up with just one thing - me being sick. Seriously.
I got off the plane, got to my hostel and felt sick. I didn't have to time to eat or drink anything in China and I spent the night vomitting and wearing 5 layers of clothing in a hostel room heated to 30 degrees. Nice starting image for you all.

There are others aspects of this story I can't be bothered going into but needless to say, I didn't have any tissues (Wanda should chime in about now), there was a squat toilet in the restaurant and vommitting from a great height should be avoided.

Got up the next morning and went to the Great Wall. Very cool. Couldn't climb all of it due to aforementioned sickness. At this point I would like to say that the wall is built on a VERY big hill, or many big hills, and the sheer size of the mountains would be sufficient to put me off if I were a hoarde. We went to a part of the Great Wall about 230km out of Beijing and some of what I saw was intense. Some farms etc look like they belong in history books!

Also - the Drivers in Beijing...very interesting. They use their horns a lot - usually to tell you that they are about to do something illegal.

Today - went to Silk Markets (where I got better at bargaining as I went along but am absolutely sure I got ripped on the t-shirt I bought first. Actually probably got ripped on everything, but I can live with that). Cool stuff, very cheap. Wish I was here last to shop!

Went to The Forbidden City - HUGE - and Tiannamen Square where I almost bought a Mao watch but the guy trying to sell it to me got accosted by a policeman. Rode the Beijing subway. Very interesting. Tiannamen is amazing! It really is just a big flat pad of concrete but what surrounds it makes it feel like you are in the centre of something great. And the People's Monument is cool. Although the people aren't actually allowed anywhere near it.

I could write more but I have a feeling this is long enough already. We leave for Mongolia at 6:30am tomorrow.

The other thing I should have mentioned was the surreal mometn when I was at a bar in Beijing and, after playing Fiddy Cent and The Black Eyed Peas all night, they suddenly played Belle and Sebastian.

Weird.

And Chinese Beer is about 50cents for a 600ml bottle.

And Jon - Coke tastes different in China.

Leaving on a Jetplane

2007-03-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

Last post from Australia. Less significant because this is only my second post generally.
After having sat in Exomod and read emails for the last week, I will now be accessing my internet from a different locale. Excellent.
Tonight, in less than 6 hours, I fly to Singapore and on to Beijing.
Thanks to everyone who I caught up with/talked to/emailed before I left. I really appreciated it and I will miss you!
Thanks to Jon for the poem. Nothing like a rhyming couplet to say goodbye,

Catch you on the flipside folks!

Wither Must I Wander

2007-03-09T03:17:00.000-08:00

First blog post.
I leave the country in 5 days.
I have a whole table full of stuff to fit in a very small backback. I think 4 pairs of shoes may be excessive.

My blog is named after this photo by Duane Michaels, who I love because he mixes his photography with interesting captions and poetry:

The writing at the bottom says:
This photograph is my proof. There was that afternoon, when things were still good between us, and she embraced me, and we were so happy. It did happen, She did love me, Look see for yourself!

So, this is for everyone to see what I am doing, prove to my parents that I am still alive and to prove to myself that I really did do those things I can only recall with vague detail.

Comment when you can. It might make me miss you all less.